become bulimic

I went for a jog around my (very big) block. I was out there for 15 minutes. I know I know, doesn’t seem very long but I feel good about it. I’m really tired now so I don’t think i’ll be eating anything else tonight. But yay! I did it. Finally.

sometimes I’m really good at what I do and actually lose the weight. For awhile I can not eat and then if I do get hungry, before I’m even halfway done with the food I get sick and can’t eat anymore. It just sucks that at some points I can’t seem to do that. Food is always around me. No matter what. My friends have it or maybe I cave or their eating so I feel like i should be eating with them. Its so retarded. I feel like I have no control. I can’t even get my fatass out of my house to do a light jog around the block. What should I do?

everything is so hard these days. i can’t seem to shake off all this fat. it’s just..hanging there. sometimes it works and i lose like 3 pounds but then a couple days later i end up putting on 5 pounds. 5 pounds! that’s so stupid. anyway, i’m heading back into my laxative state. i know that everyone thinks they don’t work but they do something for me. then i’ll try to start jogging and stop eating for awhile. it’s so good that you guys can not eat for so many days. you’re my inspiration. i’ll keep you in my thoughts. :)

Okay, I didn’t eat yesterday (sorta) and I didn’t really eat today (more or lesS) but I think I this will help me. I’ll just not eat for a few days and then my stomach will shrink which will help because when I do start eating again, I’ll be really full after only a few bites. I just take about 3-4 bottles of water with me everyday to fill up my tummy. I think it works. My stomach went all the way to China and now, well, its about halfway. So like, western Europe I guess. Lol. But I think you guys should maybe try it if you’re deperate. I was just really fed up with looking at my stomach and seeing it so fuccn bloated. It was DISGUSTING!!!!! But I think this will work cause if it doesn’t…well…back to the drawing board.

I’m in a bad place right now cuz I said that wouldn’t be bulimic anymore but I’ve gained so much weight that I really need to do this. I have to try and set out what I eat. Like, I should only eat smooth things that don’t need to be chewed so that they can come up easier. Still nervous about throwing up though. But its the only way. I’ve brought it on myself for getting carried away. It’s just that food is always around me and my stomach is so big when it needs to shrink. I’m just so fuggn sick of being fat and having a gut. I used to be a perfect 120lbs and on a good day 115. But now I’m 130. 130!!!! That is CRAZY!!! It’s just a matter of time until I become 140 or 150. So, I’m going to make up a plan and carry it with me at all times. Telling me either not to eat or eat something totally light. But this has got to stop.

Gee, I have some very great news to share: I am a compulsive eater. Yes, I’ve just found out that I have all the signs and symptons of a compulsive eater. THIS IS NOT GOOD!!! No fu* way can I be a frickin’ compulsive eater!! It explains alot though. I eat and eat and eat and I never feel full. I never once feel satisfied and then I beat myself up about it because I’ve eaten so much that I should be full. But I’m not. I try to get rid of it if I can. Only thing I can really do is take laxitives since I eat the wrong foods to really be bulimic. This sux ass. So pissed off….

I’m not sure of what I shud eat befr throwing up i heard that soup and softr things are gud but I need to get something together quick or else im going to get fatr does any one have any tips i almost got it up once but all i got was water nd a few chunks of stuf which sux i rely need some help on this.

I was at this party and ate a TON of food!!! Now I can’t eat tomorrow. Is it too late to throw it all up now? The party was a few hours ago. I’m so screwed!! But I just couldn’t resit. And Christmas is coming up and there’s always mountains and mountains of food!! Advice would be helpful.

Okay so I’m new at this. Kinda. I started using laxatives about….May-ish. Of this year. I think sometime around Memorial Day or something. I want to get into actually throwing up but I keep psyching myself out of throwing up. I get to the bathroom and I try to use my finger but I guess I just….resist or something. Any tips to calm myself down would be helpful. Please and Thank you.