take care of myself

I have been working a lot of OT this week. I have a really hard time finding balance between wanting to work extra hours to pay for the things that I want to do and just being able to enjoy everyday life. I want to travel and I know I have to have the money to do it but I know that I cannot keep working the hours I have been working because it just wipes me out. I have to work on that balance. Maybe make a rule about how many extra hours a day I can work. I have not had any time this week to really keep up with the things I have been doing such as skin care, going to the gym or even making my bed. I will not be working any overtime until the end of this month and than it will be no where near the same amount of hours. Good news is after this paycheck my 6 month emergency fund will be done.

Now I am starting to move forward or looking into how to move foreward to a big part of taking care of myself. (Big Breath).... Losing weight. All of the information out there is just really overwhelming. Like I said before I have made enought attempts at this to know what I don’t want but I want this to be the last attempt. I want to learn to treat my body better and keep it at a healthy weight. The question is how do I start and who do I go to for advice? I already go to the gym consistently when I am not working all hours so I think I have that part down. I am going to try to ramp up the intensity a litte bit but I am not worried about that. I know my issue is the food. I know I eat emotionally and I am at a loss of how to actually eat well other than I know the less processed the better. I have found myself just suddenly eating and in the middle of eating I kind of wake up and think I am not even hungry. It is usually when I am stressed or I want to be comforted. I have been playing around with Spark people but I have found nothing on it to track the emotions about why your eating. It can also be very hard to get into when I am at work. Maybe I will start by keeping a hand written journal of my food and my emotions. I will update this more when I actually figure out my next step.

I have cleared my nightstands off. I have been making my bed everyday. One side of my closet has been cleared. I put my suitcases out in the garage. I have lot of clotes that need to be in drawers. I have been using one of my nightstand drawers but it is not big enough for everything. I was looking at some drawers online but I am afraid I might spend all this money and not have everything fit. I have been playing with the idea of hiring a professional organizer but before I do that I will spend time in the container store looking at drawer systems. Next weekend is pretty much full but I may find some time. I have also added a few more things to the donate pile. I saw a mirror last night that would be perfect for my room. It would match my bed. There is just so much going through my head right now. Most of the things I want to buy will have to wait for next payday. Oh I forgot I also cleared off my desk and I now have an inbox that I will keep up with.

I would like to start wearing perfume. I like the idea of not just looking nice but smelling nice. Not something overpowering but something that people will notice and like. Choosing one is going to be difficult because what you smell in the magazines does not smell like what is in the bottle. I am not really sure of what I want. I know I don’t want a lot of floral and gardinia makes me ill. I plan on going to the store next weekend and having the salesperson help me. Even better my friend says she will buy the perfume for me as a christmas present!

I have read the book 7 secrets of slim people which is basicly all about intuitive eating. I want to read it again just to make sure I got all of the information.
I am also reading a book about body image. For the most part I accept myself as I am. I have accepted and appreciate my features and my personality but for some reason I have trouble accepting my body. I look at my body and I see such great potential. I know they say that if you accept your body for what it is then you can move forward but I have a hard time with that because it feels like I am giving up.
I am thinking about contacting a coach that specializes in intuitive eating. It’s just finding it in the budget because I want to take clothes to a tailor, finish my emergency fund, and save for a trip to Ireland. I know I need to take care of me but I want to do all of these things.

I have put up a shelf in the bathroom and put all of my skincare and makeup on it. It is up and out of the way but within easy reach and in sight. If I see it and it is easy to get too I will use it more.

Coming to a realization that I have to make a plan for this goal. So I have outlined what I need to do to take care of myself. Hopefully I will uncover reasons why I have not been doing this and take care of those issues as well

Environment

I need an environment that helps me take care of myself instead of being something that brings me down. I need it to be organized and clean and to keep it that way.

Organize closet
Take things to goodwill, which I don’t wear, don’t fit or don’t flatter.
Finally take the clothes that I have set aside forever to a tailor so they fit me better.
Organize my folded clothes.
Organize/ get rid of things on the other side of my closet.(Including bedding,suitcases, etc)

Bedroom
Clear off my nightstands, Get rid of junk I don’t need. Curtail the clutter. Put it away or throw it away.
Make my bed everyday
Launder bedding more often. (There is nothing like slipping into fresh sheets)
Go through my books, decide what I am going to keep, sell or donate
Keep the floor clean. Just seeing a clean floor makes me breath easier
Organize my desk.

Bathroom
Put up shelves to make access to skincare, makeup easy without cluttering up the sink.

Make good routines habit
Floss every night before going to bed
Carry floss in my purse
Wash face nightly
Wear makeup every day

Get enough quality sleep
What do I have to do to sleep through the night? Not toss or turn for 2 hours before falling asleep? Do I need to journal or listen to music before going to bed? Maybe meditation?

Lose Weight

This is a hard one that I have attempted several times before but lets face it, being overweight by as much as I am is not taking care of yourself. The good thing about all my past failed attempts is I know what will not work.

I just want something simple but not expensive prepackage meals. I don’t want to have to count points or exchanges. Thin people everywhere have just eaten without having to reference a chart or graph of some sort.
I don’t want to spend half of my weekend preparing food for the next week that I will probably not find very appetizing 5 days later.
I don’t want cooking healthy things to be a hassle, a bore or stressful.
I am interested in several things and would be willing to give them a try. I just have to do it and see what works best for me.
I have a health coach that my health insurance provides. I want to call her and see what kind of help she can offer.
I want to stay away from processed foods as much as possible. I think with cooking and me it has to be fast so I don’t get bored and it has to be fun or relaxing.
I have looked a little bit into intuitive eating but I would like to talk to someone who knows more about it and that I can use as support.
I know that I eat when I am bored, or am trying to fill something so I need to research emotional eating more.

Stop drinking Soda or at least lower my intake greatly.

I know this is very bad for me I would love to just stop completely but I have tried several times before and have gone back in times of stress or being tired. It is a familiar crutch and it is hard to give up. I would like to find out more about hypnosis as I have heard that works with other types of habits.

Keep up with regular exercise

Except for this week that I have been sick this has not been a problem. I actually like the gym I am going to.

Pamper myself
Keep up with regular manicures and pedicures
Have massages at least once every other month
Keep up with regular haircuts and waxing.
Take a bubble bath every once in a while
Other things just for me because I am worth it

Got a manicure and pedicure today. Working on keeping up with myself. It turns out this goal which you would think would be easier is harder than you would think. There are so many things you think are more important to take care of first other than yourself

I know I have been tired but I woke up this morning to what feels like the begining of a cold. So I am loading up on the vitamin C and Echinacea. Two more weeks and I am not working any more Overtime. I thought I was doing ok by just working one extra day a week but I guess 6 weeks of having only one day off and working different hours of the day were too much. Lesson learned.

I am becoming aware of how my environment effects how well I take care of myself. I am slowly going through my closet and getting rid of things I don’t wear or are unflattering. I am also going through other things to get rid of clutter. I feel much better when things have a place and everything is in it’s place. I kind of touched on this subject last night with my roommate. She did not get upset but we really need to talk more about the cleanliness and organization of the apartment.

I have been doing what I can to eat whole foods but I have been working a lot lately so I have not had a lot of energy and my roomate does not help me with this. As soon as I walk in the door she wants to go through a drive thru, and a lot of my energy goes to cleaning up the house. After eating fast food for a couple of days and junk snacks at work I can really tell the difference between how I feel when I eat real food compared to the processed stuff. I am learning how to handle things though. I know I have to go grocery shopping every couple of days instead of once a week or every two weeks. I have to make cooking fun and enjoyable. Cooking something different every time so I don’t get into a rut. Saying no to my roommate when she wants to go through drive thru or not ordering anything.Talking to her about helping with the housework so I am not doing it all. Getting enough downtime, which will be easier in 2 weeks because I won’t be working so many hours.Just accepting the fact that sometimes eating better is going to cost more and realize that I am worth every penny.

I have had my face waxed, a pedicure and I got my haircut today. I also bought myself a new lipstick. I have also been trying to eat whole foods lately.