overcome depression and anxiety

Every time I think I’ve made progress, something else happens that plunges me into depression.

I’m trying so hard to get my life together but it doesn’t seem to be happening. I just don’t know what else to do.

I suppose that’s how depression works but wow. It sure is exhausting. And I’m on medication. Sigh.

I’m trying to focus on the positive: a new job, new comfortable home, and the like.

But part of me can’t help thinking, “I lost the last home, I lost insurance, I lost so much…”

I am determined to get through this.

Certainly helps. It isn’t effective until January, but just knowing that they’ve made the offer and I’ve accepted is a relief.

I know this is normal; I know this isn’t going to suddenly clear up one day, but it is frustrating to be doing so well, then slide backwards. Sigh.

I don’t know what did it, but I suspect it is family issues. The pressure to be with both families, the decision to be with my husband’s over mine, and not being comfortable right now with his family.

I guess I AM making progress – I can function most of the time reasonably well. I just want to be “normal”, to be at a more stable point, to have a life more balanced. I don’t know how to explain.

So it is kind of hard to say for sure, but I think that I am slowly, slowly, SLOWLY returning to a more normal state for me. Yes, we’ve got some serious financial problems to face and get out from under, but other areas of our lives – much more basic like HOUSING, independence, being able to feed our children and ourselves…are finally evening out.

I think I am FINALLY making some progress here, real measurable progress. (Cautious optimism is what you might call this, I suppose.)

A week ago is helping.

Getting jobs and having income and insurance again certainly helps.

I know I’ve still got big hurdles in front of me, but I am beginning to feel the flickers of hope. A return to a less negative state.

I’m trying to rest more, but not so much that I cannot accomplish anything.

I’m trying to focus, to set goals that stretch me and help me grow, to regain some energy and some interest.

I’m trying to make myself smile and to make myself move forward, until I don’t have to force it, until it comes naturally. Some times you have to “fake it until you make it.”

Are depressed. I’m doing ok dealing with my own depression – well, as good a job as I can at any rate, but trying to deal with my husband’s on top of it? Not working so well.

I have to find a way to talk to him about this and find a way to deal with our situation in a healthier fashion. I cannot go on this way for much longer. I’m strong, but I don’t know that I’m that strong.

Well, that fight is over. We surrendered today, accepting the fact that it will never sell for enough, not in this market. The bank can have it.

That sucks. I never thought I’d find myself in this place at this point in my life.

Still, I have two beautiful children and we’ve got shelter and help for the moment. I’m grateful for that beyond words. Things can be replaced.

Fell through in a big, big way. It has just been ugly. I can’t even begin to describe it. It looks like bankruptcy might be in our future. On the other hand, I think I may have moved past depression to … just wanting this to be over, whatever is going to happen. I guess it is apathy, exhaustion, or a combination of the two.

I feel like my life is imploding some days.