stop picking my skin

i’ve really only just realized in the last while how serious this is. It is not just a silly habit. It is an OCD. It is self harm.

My boyfriend and I went on a weekend away last week and he really got to see how ugly this is. I’ve been recently trying to substitute picking by snagging a hair tie on my wrist everytime I want to pick my face. But i use the metal part of the hairtie to hit my skin so that it really hurts. He saw my wrist all bruised and couldn’t understand how it was supposed to make me better.
When we went to the museum, it was warm inside and i rolled up my sleeve- completely forgetting that i had been picking at a scab on my wrist. So one wrist was completely bruised from the hairtie and the other was smudged in blood. This was as well as a particularly awful week of picking at my face.

On the way back home, my boyfriend tried talking to me about it. He said that he is gonna try and book me in with a psychologist or try and get me back to councelling (although that really didnt help last time). He said he hates seeing me hurt myself the way I do and that I need help. He said that this has got to stop and that this is no way to live.

He’s right. It was GOT to stop.

iv had this problem for over ten years. its more of a psychological problem than anything else. i’ve only recently realized why i’ve been doing this. i blame myself for something that happened me as a child and so “pick” on myself. the last few weeks i’ve been doing very well, but recently it’s been creeping back on me again. i thin the first step to getting over this is definitely to first off realize why you are doing this to yourself. it is a form of self-harm!

i’ve decided that even though its going to kill me..im not gonna wear make-up into college tomorrow..well bar a tiny bit of concealer..:P

I’m back after about 3 months! had a brilliant week where i didnt pick at all because my boyfriend was around me 24/7. But didn’t see him at all today and now i look awful cos i’ve been picking frantically! i’ve exams during the next two weeks so my face will probably deteriorate imensely. :(

iv to start over again..its gonna be harder now thats ots the xmas holidays because i dont have friends around me to distract me all the time..my face is really yuck..i have a whole new set of make-up for xmas,but wats the point when my skin makes me look horible anyway:(

exams

stress

yuck yuck yuck

falling back into this OCD again for comfort

iv picked..just a lil bit..but i did all the same

and i know what does this to me..lads..haha
the root of all evil i tells ya!!
i found a new crush..so i was thinkin “yay, i like someone again!!”..and ten minutes later my skin isnt looking so great..
how they do this to me i just dont know!!
the damage isnt so bad though..should be healed up in a day or two..

havent been on this in a while so i thought id better pop in for an update..my skin is actually really good right now..i havent completely kicked the habit, but im so almost there..the secret isnt wearing gloves, continuessely scrubbing ur face etc etc..its just keeping urself so busy u dont have the time to stand in front of the mirror and go at your face..im living in a student accomodation and surrounded by friends literally 24/7 and im not gonna pick in front of them!! so my skin is clear. for the first time since i can remember.. iv had this problem for at least 8 years if not more.. I havent picked in about 2 weeks and WOW! the difference is unbelievable! i was just glancing at a couple of the comments and in relation to the one from mamidragon, i always thought id be really pretty once i got rid of this problem. it was the only ugly thing about myself i saw when i looked at myself in the mirror.. but now that i dont have horrible skin, i see yellow teeth, chubby cheeks and a pointy nose.. things that i know arent obvious but they seem so when theres nothing more obvious to look at.. but im definitely not as self conscience anymore.. im so glad this is working :D

iv been sick the past few days and part of me being sick is me not being able to sleep

so iv been lying awake in bed and my fingers creep up and…yep..forehead is NOT looking very good right now..

the spots on my nose and chin are practically gone, just a bit dry looking so as long as i keep my fringe down i dont think il look too bad

im nearly better now so i can get back on track very soon!!

im nearly there!!

i have one spot on my nose and one below my mouth..the rest are practically gone and invisible when iv a bit of make-up on over them!! im going out saturday night and il be seeing my ex boyfriend for the first time since i broke up with him.. i HAVE to look STUNNING! i need him to see what hes missing!! im confident about this though.. iv a fab dress and shoes and all i need is my skin to look a tiny bit better..iv been so busy the last few days that i hadnt the time to just sit in front of a mirror and pick so i think iv nearly broken the habit..just a few more days and il know for sure!!:D