get out of my shell

I’ve begun asking others if they would like to hang out after school more often and have proven to be less than successful. Everyone is always so busy with work or after school sports. And church activites. So many youth group meetings!

It’s been discouraging, but none of them have been an outright no at least, right? I’ll keep trying.

Today there was a fundraising event that took place at a proffessional college basketball game. Having done this before, I assumed it would be the same as last time. However, there was an excess number of people and five needed to transferred to different areas.

Before I would have remained quiet and have waited for others to either volunteer themselves or even volunteer me. Instead, I was the first to put myself out there and say I was willing to do it.

It was a new experience, going outside of my comfort zone and working with people I had never met before. Fortunately, the people at the food stand were actually very friendly and I enjoyed meeting them. :)

I think I earned myself a star for this one, don’t you?

When I was younger, I was extremely shy. Now I have come to the point of being socially awkward. Interacting with people is difficult: Either I don’t put myself out there enough or I hate myself for acting…so unlike myself. Sometimes, I cannot help but think that it’s not even worth it.

But I can’t shut out the world. I cannot simply curl back into my little shell and wait until it becomes easier. It will only get harder if I do that. I just don’t know how to deal with humans despite them being my own species. All I can do is peep out of my shell occasionally before quickly withdrawing back into the deep and lonely – safe – inside.