stop being a hypochondriac

I may be having the heart murmur because I’m under stress. Actually, I’ve been in a state of shock for a few days now. My friend who is my age recently died from something related to Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.
Well, you can imagine how that went in a hypochondriac’s world… I cleaned my whole room, doing my best to de-louse and lice that may be lurking, infected with this virus. I don’t even know if it’s a virus. I just know it’s deadly. But the crazy thing is, it only kills 800 people per year around the world. And people, that’s not under the list of COMMON DEATHS.

I’m afraid of cancer… like, badly. If I talk about it, I start to have panic attacks. I know this is very not healthy. Sometimes my mind will get stuck on a medical term and repeat it over and over and it’s TORTURE. I’m afraid of it, because you see that people are fine, then they go to the doctor and sometimes they tell them they may die or will die because they just found something. And it’s just a terrible, terrible thing.
I was recently told I have a heart murmur. I can hear it when I lie down to sleep. You know how your heart goes ‘bum’ bum’ ‘bum’... mine goes ‘bum-ba-bum’, with a little one in between.
My trainer told me this, and sometimes it’s hard not to focus on it. She told me it’s not a big deal, lots of people have it and it implies nothing. But she’s just a trainer, and she’s not qualified to diagnose me. It’s a Sunday, and the doctor’s office is closed. Fun, fun!
I have panic attacks… which I am getting under control without medication.
Like, sometimes I feel a bit dizzy, like now, and I don’t know if it’s a hint of panic or if it has to do with the heart thing and it’s hard to keep calm when I’m wondering if I’m just going to drop dead.
Le sigh.
I need to relax. I’m drinking some wine, and I know that’s good for your heart, and bad for panic attacks.
I am SOO screwed.
Can someone help???