Because I think I am better than what I was five years ago. I still have my moments but I think gone are the days when I see photos of myself and my skin is covered in scabs.
The odd thing now is that I pick more on the rest of my body – my arms and my legs. But even then it could be worse and I think is more related to when I’m stressed. So eliminate the stress is more the goal.
When I had a bad picking weekend a few days ago, it was because I was lonely and felt bad about myself. The worse I felt, the more I wanted to pick. I have got to the stage now where as long as I feel ok, I can ignore my spots and lumps. A while ago, I wanted to attack anything that resembled a blemish.
The most important thing has been learning not to touch my face – this is what causes the spots and also makes me aware of the ones that are there. Touch face, feel a lump then become so obsessed I squeeze the life out of it. I didn’t realise how much of a habit touching my face was. Wearing makeup helps because I don’t like touching the makeup. Also being really strict about the the time I spend infront of the mirror.
Sometimes I look at my face sans makeup and I’m still really unhappy with my face, which makes me want to pick more… But I guess we’ve all got things we still have to work through.
Keeping my nails short didn’t do much for me because it didn’t get rid of why I wanted to pick.
Then this weekend kind of undid it all.