so lately I’ve been noticing a lot more attitude coming from my dear little one. I’m not sure if it’s an age thing, or something to do with the influence of older kids in her class, or if it’s something i’m doing/not doing. But seeing as the things I do are really the only things I can change, I’m reminded of the poem(?) Children Learn What They Live, and I’ve turned my mind towards curbing my renowned sarcasm and watching my words as directed towards both her and others.
Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
apples don’t fall far from their trees.
enrolling at a new montessori school for the spring, hopefully with good results.
moral: family is important.
set aside time for her and I to talk via distance to family. since most of her immediate and extended family do not live nearby. this entails specific dates and times, not to encroach upon established bedtime routines (ie no calls after 8pm).
locally and online, and get certified. yes, it is possible, apparently (no pun intended). no one is the perfect parent and we all have room for improvement. i took birthing classes, why wouldn’t i take parenting classes?
children-in-the-middle was specifically recommended to me as a divorcee. looks promising, but i’ll update after I actually do the course.
3-4 sentences, once a week, with at least one picture. i can do this. good record for me, the ex, and most importantly aj herself.
I’ll consider re-posting here as well, likely without pics. and I think I’ll aim for Sundays.
this is what a feminist looks like.
“When a child walks in the room, your child or anybody else’s child, do your eyes light up? ... that’s what they’re looking for. When my children used to walk in the room when they were little, I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or if their socks were up. And so you think your affection and deep love is on display because you’re caring for them. It’s not. When they see you, they see the critical face … Let your face speak what’s in your heart. It’s just as small as that, you see.”
-Toni Morrison, novelist, awarded Nobel Prize for literature and Pulitzer Prize for American Literature
This is a good reminder for me as I’ve seen its effectiveness in action. she really responds quickly and overwhelmingly when I show a positive and loving attitude like this.