identify 100 things that piss me off

57) I don’t seem to be able to identify a hundred things, and I’m happy with it.

56) Meeting my boyfriend shouldn’t stress me out. Life is a bitch ^{and then you die.}_{I’m so funny.}

55) I suppose the screaming outside means we won. Well, I don’t care, and I hate noise. Please shut up.

54) “What do you mean, you finished translating Chapter X in just over 2 weeks, and you’re happy with it? But you didn’t have to translate it, we did it ourselves months ago. I just sent it to you so you could read it and know what it was about. Oh, you mean I sent it along with two other chapters, and simply wrote “hope you’ll enjoy translating those”? Well, in my mind, the other two were indeed for translating, of course, but Chapter X was just FYI. I guess you couldn’t know, though, you’re right. Oh, and of course, when you said two weeks ago “I just began translating Chapter X, and it’s coming out pretty well”, I could have understood you were translating Chapter X. And then I would have told you not to do it. I guess I didn’t realise what you were saying. I must have thought you were talking about Chapter SomethingElse. Gee, that’s too bad.”

Somebody please give me a nuclear bomb. Three, actually. The first one for justice, the second one for revenge, the third one for pleasure. Then I might calm down.

53) Heat. Anything above 22°C is just evil.

52) Having to get out while I’m working (or reading or anything) just because I’m out of cigarettes. It sucks.

47) My shrink. I really think he could go and bugger someone else. Anybody. Please.

48) My pupil B. I can’t think of one illness or handicap he doesn’t have. It’s not his fault for sure, but it’s not mine EITHER, and I don’t think I’ll be able to cope much longer.

49) The old hag opposite my door.

50) Doing something just because I don’t see a reason not to do it.

51) My hair.

39) Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. P. got it perfectly right. It’s actually painful.

40) People who eat at the movies. Popcorn stinks.

41) My grandmother when she phones home at 8am on a Sunday and says “I called early so as to catch you before you leave for work”.

42) My father when he asks if I’m free to have dinner with him in, like, three weeks. Three weeks, dad? I’m supposed to know what I’ll be doing three weeks from now? What do you think I am, a grown-up?

43) People who say I work with “hard of hearing” children. They’re DEAF, for chrissake! Stone deaf. They can’t hear a thing. They couldn’t hear your stupid phrase if you were shouting it in their face.

44) Well-off people who assume everybody’s filthy rich like them.

45) People who call magazines “books”. Makes me wonder about who’s their favorite author.

46) People who will not read an extraordinary sci-fi novel because “I read [insert the title of some crap from the 60’s] once and I didn’t understand”, or because “I don’t like science”. (You don’t? And what about fiction, then, you asshole?)

34) People who read bad books and actually enjoy them because they just never read a good book.

35) People who overestimate themselves and underestimate me.

36) Bad childhood memories. They still gave me goosebumps, and worse, make me feel sad and guilty.

37) When my mother (or other people, but she does it particularly well) wants so say something to me, or ask something from me, but doesn’t want to bother getting up and moving her ass, so she shouts from another room and think I’ll hear/understand/come.

38) Grown-ups who look down at children and take advantage of them just because “I’m older than you”.

33) in the immortal words of Dr. Frank Furter, “life itself”.