be a better mother

I speak to her a few times a week. By phone or we meet.
She did decide to go for the housing project so she is going to live on her own (with 2 other people in 1 house) this summer probably.

I know everyone that left the house on an early age and are adults now, say they wish they hadn’t but we did not listen back then and she isn’t listening now. I accept that.

I am praying she will pass on to the last year of her school, but I am not sure she will make it.
If she does make it, she will go to do her last year on school and then she will go for a higher education in law.

If she doesn’t make it this year, I am worried she will give up on school all together.

So I just hope she will proceed to the next class. what is the English word for it? graduate? no that is when you finish at a school

At least we are talking again.

After 2 weeks of crying I slowly have gotten back on my feet.
I did not want to speak with her the first 2 weeks after it happened. I was still to angry and felt being backstabbed. I thought we had an open communication and I knew we had to do something.

She is still at my parents. Yesterday we had an appointment where I got to ask questions about the house they want to place her.

I told them I want to have a say in this cause I am still her mom. She thought so too. She is getting a bit pressured to make a decision and that is what I don’t like.
She feels fine at my parents but now she has to make a decision in 1 week. If she wants to stay with my parents or start the procedure so she will be added on the waiting list.
They pressure her because they say, yes now you can go in but maybe in 3 weeks there is a waiting list.

I also told her, she has to live on her own for many years to come, why not enjoy one year of “being a child” (at my parents)
There is only 1 school year left before she graduates. She wants to become a lawyer. (I hope she will succeed)

I guess she will decide to start the procedures though.
I have to let it go and just hope for the best.
At least there is no urgency anymore and there are choices.

I just want what is best for my girl and will support her no matter what.

With a lot of help given by a psychology worker who I hired for myself, my daughter has slowly started to hate me.
It was hell the last 6 months. I was not allowed to touch her, she did not want to talk with me at all. I was only good for making dinner.

Behind my back my personal coach (which I hired!) my daughter and her coach decided she could not live with me. she did not want to live with me anymore.
Since they are working with us she has slowly started to hate me.
When they (the personal coach)first arrived 2 years ago, they also noticed our (daughter and me) communication wasn’t that good and they told me not only me but also my girl needed help.
Of course I wanted them to help us out, I trusted them.

An example: after a few months they told her, you are depressed. she said No way. a few weeks later, I heard her talking, Yes suddenly she also thought she was depressed.

Well I am a mess now. The people that I trusted betrayed me. They now even acknowledged they made mistakes, that the way they handled this was wrong, behind my back, but now my daughter is living at my parents. There goal is to let her live in a special house but there is a waiting list for 6 months at least.

A special house where young troubled people learn to live on there own. I am worried because of the people she will live with, people that use drugs and such but I don’t have a say in anything anymore. she is 16 nearly 17.

Now I am trying to cope living on my own. At least my daughter is feeling happy at my parents. after 2 weeks of being angry i decided it was best to talk with her. (for her interest i put my anger aside) I told her I am glad cause she is happy and that i understand she will stay at my parents. I noticed her relief so i am proud of myself to think of her first. she feels much better now and that is most important to me. That she feels happy.

Maybe it is for the best also for me. My life was hell. I started to become scared of my own daughter, she was the boss
:-) but it hurts like hell.

nvm