Do one fun thing each day!

Today’s fun was putting half of our books for sale on Amazon. I have been informed by Shipwreck that we are sinking. So, we all got’ta bailing. With a name like Ship at the head of house, we just have to float, right?! LOL

Arg, I had a huge post and then it timed out/disappeared. Oh well, I’ll put pic back anyway and maybe I’ll re write post again tomorrow.

I have tired, sore eyes, and soul, and body this morning. I cried in Ships arms for hours last night. A strong cry of grief. I know in my heart I can never see my father again because I am unable to detach from the pain he brings any longer. And, last night I realized that I never was able too and that’s why I have felt like it was not me in this body… for 17 years.

The past three weeks I have been truly happy, like a happiness I have never felt before. His visit made me question if any of it was real. I thought I may have lost it forever.

Today, I am feeling like I’m in mourning and I am worn out, and overly emotional, but I know my happiness is not lost to the depths of the swamps of sadness. I will emerge with time, just like Artax did.

This post is for me to remember by.

Today’s fun..

First I will say something about this goal of mine.

I made this a goal of sorts as a way to start thinking positively about my life. It could be a way for me at the end of each day to try hard to think of one thing that made me smile or made me happy or I enjoyed doing, no matter how large or small the thing was.

Well, The last two days have been a very hard test and I can only hope that I ended up passing it gracefully. There were a few moments where I thought for sure I’d loose my charm and my strength to keep smiling. You see, my father was in town for two days. I will not make this post into a rant that I so desperately need, that I may de-stress myself. I will however say that I’m proud of my girls for being on the same wavelength with me so the communication between us was not an addition to our painful decline in mood.

I think Mr Ship was happy as a clam that he had work and homework to take him away.

Ship, Tag you’re it for next time! I just hope I can do it all over again when your parents come this Saturday. If only I had an excuse to get away LOL.

Today’s fun was… well umm.. my girls were all home with me today.

The day was really shitty. It all started with the vacuum and ended with the box of matches left under the furnace. /sigh

Today’s fun was making fried plantains with the baby tonight after dinner. She sure is funny. Ship and I were the only ones who liked the the new treat.
Fried Plantains:

Ingredients

• 3 large plantains
• 1/4 cup butter or margarine
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Preparation

Cut each plantain in half crosswise; cut each half lengthwise into 1/4-inch-thick slices. Melt butter in a large skillet over medium heat; add plantains, and sprinkle with sugar and cinnamon. Cook 3 to 4 minutes on each side or until golden; drain on paper towels.

Today’s fun was watching Daughter # 1’s face as her ginormous box from FedEx came today. The contents being, her laptop that her new school provides to her, along with a laptop bag, an all-in-one scanner/printer with ink, and a head set with a mic for class sessions.

It took a little bit of work but she is now on the home wireless network.

Today’s fun was going to the Science Museum of Minnesota
http://www.smm.org/ with all of the children and Ship. We had to force the oldest daughter out the door, attitude and all. She ended up having a great time! Go figure. While we were there we saw the Grand Canyon Adventure movie that is showing in the Omnitheater. http://www.smm.org/grandcanyon/

I was teary eyed many times during the film! That is the closest I’ll ever come to rafting down a river or hiking through the Anasazi Ruins that I love to read and learn about.

Today’s fun was all day long really. I was able to do more work on the fish ‘painting’. I enjoyed cooking the apple pie pockets and I made beef chimichangas. We all played a game called Ticket to Ride after the baby went to bed. I ended up wining which was weird because I started the game not really caring if I won.
I recorded some video of us playing and I was thinking I’d put it on youtube with some kind of train music over the sound.

Today’s fun was going grocery shopping with shipwreck. We let the kids stay home together. Ship and I went and had a cup of coffee first because he convinced me that I don’t drink that much caffeine anyway so there isn’t really a need for me to cut it out of my diet. He said there was no reason for me to go through having bad headaches and to just drink a cup if I wanted to. So, that’s what we did.

While we were at the coffee shop we talked about the kids and about the bad dreams that have been plaguing me lately about the boy. The dreams are so bad that they are affecting me physically during the day time as well.