Allow myself to only be treated well by the people I choose to have friendships and relationships with. If they do not, I need to find the courage to move on without them.

My last entry on this goal was about the book He’s Just Not That Into You and I’m still working toward living the principles in it. I started dating someone new not too long ago, and everything was fluffy bunnies and rainbows to start, but then after about a month he completely disappeared. I had a really hard time with this at first and tracked him down, and fought really hard to convince him I was worth being with. And then he disappeared again. So now I’m (trying to) move on, but it’s proving harder than I thought it would. I really liked him, and I really thought it might go somewhere.

But he didn’t treat me the way I deserve to be treated, and because of that I need to let it go. Easier said than done, right?

I know it sounds really cliche, but there is a book that changed my life. Well, it changed my outlook on a certain area of my life. The book He’s Just Not That Into You really made me open my eyes to what I was doing. I read it a while ago, but I just started thinking about it again when I saw one of my friends being an idiot. I told him to read the book (even though it’s written for women) and in doing so realized that I should probably re-read it myself.

You may be wondering how this relates to the goal I’ve chosen to post this under. The goal is about not letting people treat me poorly, and the book is about recognizing when you’re holding on to people who are treating you poorly as a way of saying “leave me alone!” So I haven’t called that guy back who said he would call me and didn’t. I didn’t make excuses for that other guy who never wanted to talk about anyone but himself. I stopped being available for the guy who only wanted me on his own terms.

I feel better about myself for doing it, but now I’m not dating anyone anymore. I guess it’s better to wait for one great guy than deal with several mediocre ones.

Whenever I read this goal, I think “yeah! I really do need to do that!” Then I forget all about it, and overlook when people don’t treat me how I want to be treated.

I’m very lucky. I was thinking of the people who are actively in my life, and all of them treat me well for the most part. Sure, we have disagreements occasionally, but there isn’t really anyone who steps on me to get what they want, or treats me like I don’t matter.

I’m happy. I think I need to keep this on the list though, just so I don’t let it happen again. It’s just so easy to forget.

Tonight I cut ties with someone who isn’t good for me, and he doesn’t even know it. I’d been asking him to do something for a couple of weeks, and he hadn’t done it. It was something very inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, but all I wanted was for him to respect how important it was to me, even though it wasn’t to him. I asked him multiple times, and kept getting “I’ll get around to it.” Then I started to think, if he’s this resistant to something so small, how will it be when something more weighty is important to me but not to him?

I will find someone who cares how I feel, because it’s obviously not him.

So now I start my life without him in it.

There is a guy that I dated for a while, who broke up with me a few weeks ago. He’s still very much in my head, and I think he knows it. Last night I got a few text messages that basically came down to this: He was horny. He didn’t have any weed. He wanted me to come over and bring him beer. How, exactly, should I take that, other than the obvious way, which is to feel used?

Now he’s turned it around on me, saying that I* made *him feel bad when I told him I felt like he was treating me like a service. WTF?! And I APOLOGIZED!

It’s official. I am insane.