remember who I am

I smile more I’ve lost friends and I’ve gained a sense of me. IT’s a long way from here but i’m working on it. Just hoping I’ll make it.

...it’s so hard to do I mean I wake up each morning and I try but I can’t it’s way too hard. I mean I’ve changed and being who I was is out of the question of course, but I tend to lose myself in what I write or the lives of others I know it’s not the best things to do but I do it. And I can’t stop myself sometimes.

Someone once told me that I mold myself into what others want it’s true but I never thought about it until he mentioned it and I know it sucked so bad to be seen so clearly when you can’t even see yourself. We’re still friends it’s not that but it has changed he has a gf and he completely forgets about me, and it’s not that I want him to remember or maybe I do deep down. I don’t know anymore but so far just wanted to say I’m still woking on remembering who I am. It will be a long time till I can honestly do it.

I think to remember who you were, u need to find out what you were first, I have no idea I’m in a complete daze about this subject. I’ve rediscovered myself so many times but the thing is I don’t love myself more because of it I’m still in the I hate looking in the mirror that I removed all mirrors from my upstairs rooms, except for the bathroom and the closet.

I don’t like looking at myself at least I remember that.