think less, do more

While in a work meeting trying to solve the problem of lack of manpower, I suddenly volunteered myself to move 120 miles away for 6 weeks to cover the gap. The bosses were immensely pleased and it wasn’t until a little later did I start thinking about it. Instead of being stressed about the change in my routine (which I don’t usually do well with), I became really excited. I’ll be teaching a summer school in a mostly-low income school district up north, living in a little rental and covering other work duties via internet. The place is in a beautiful part of the state with lots of outdoor stuff to do, quiet, and no distractions. I’ll be home on weekends, probably. Ultimately, glad I jumped into this, great for all aspects of me: personal and professional. Plus, it will be like a paid vacation.

This week I practiced this goal in a couple different ways. Instead of over-analyzing and worrying about a stirred up emotion, I simply acted on it, without doubting the outcome or making up excuses. It felt good, regardless of what happens, to just do what felt right to me, in keeping with who I feel I am.

...because it’s the most difficult for me. Lately, I’ve been throwing on my running shoes and just hitting the trail because my brain is getting the best of me. Maybe I need to really understand how to make this goal happen. What exactly do I want to “do” instead of think about? What does that look like? I do know that it is working in my relationship..I guess I have to give that a round of applause. No guessing, analyzing, questioning, grinding down into crumbs…it just is and that’s nice. I enjoy what comes about and don’t think too hard on the why’s or the what-ifs. Now, to put that into effect for the other parts of my world…

This was a bad week for this goal. My head was pretty full of all the possibilities and worries of the next year. I tend to try to unwrap every layered and messy and uncertain thing in my head and this just makes me frustrated and frozen. And I never listen to everyone around saying “Ask for help! What can I do? Tell me about it!” My pride hurts me…a lot. I need to DO something about that and not THINK about it. :o)

I’m being forced to work on this goal, and it’s turning out to be a good thing.