laugh more

How many Irish men does it take to change a light bulb?

5 – 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to drink until the room starts spinning.

They always ask at the doctor’s reception why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what’s wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.

There’s nothing worse than a Doctor’s Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’

There’s something wrong with my dick’, he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. ‘

‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ he said.

The Receptionist replied; ‘Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people.
You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.’

The man replied, ‘You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.
The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’

‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.
‘And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?’

‘I can’t piss out of it,’ he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

This was sent to me. It made me laugh.

Peter is on the mound. Jesus is catching.
Jesus gives the sign. Peter denies it.
Jesus gives the sign again. Peter denies it.
Jesus gives the sign again. I can’t believe it. Peter has denied Jesus
for a third time!

Lazerus is stepping to the plate. Oh no, he’s hit. I think he dead!
No, wait a minute, he’s alive again….

Highlights from yesterday’s game –
Jesus hit a grand slam homer with
nobody on. We haven’t seen a miracle like that since loaves and fishes night!

The Angels beat Lucifer yesterday. He could really send in the heat in his day but now his era is 666.

I’ve realized how important laughter is in a relationship. To be able to laugh with your partner makes the relationship so much stronger. The person I’m dating now has a great sense of humor and we laugh at things all of the time.

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me ? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don’t know where I am.”
The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”
“You must be in Information Technology,” said the balloonist.
“I am,” replied the woman, “how did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”
The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”
“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my feckin fault.”

and the bartender said “Why the long face?”

An Irish woman of advancing years visited her physician to solicit
His help in reviving her husband’s flagging libido.

“What about trying Viagra?” asks the doctor.

“Not a chance,” she said. “He won’t even take an aspirin!”

“Not to fret,” replied the doctor. “Give him an Irish Viagra.”

“What’s an Irish Viagra, Doctor?”

“That’s where you just drop the Viagra into his morning coffee. He
Won’t even taste it,” replied the doctor. “Give it a try and call me in
a week to let me know how things went.”

Not even a week had gone by before she called the doctor, who
Directly inquired as to the progress of the experiment.

The poor dear exclaimed, “Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was
Horrid, just too terrible, doc!”

“Really? What happened?” asked the doctor.

“Well, I did as you advised. I slipped the Viagra into his morning
Coffee and it took effect almost immediately. He jumped hisself
Straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging
Proudly! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and table-
Cloth a-flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and
There, making wild, mad, passionate love to me right on the table-
Top! T’was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!”

“Why so terrible?” asked the doctor. “Do you mean to say the sex
Your husband gave you wasn’t any good?”

“Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed! T’was the best sex
I’ve had in twenty-five years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here before you,
I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!

Doctor, will I be able to play the violin after surgery?
Of course you will.
That’s great. I could never play before.

Humor can do more than wipe out a bad mood – it can be good for your health.
Karen Judson.

According to one expert, laughing is good exercise. Laughing 100 times a day is equal to 10 minutes of rowing. So I guess we should all try to laugh more every day. It could be a help in losing weight, one of my other goals.

Reader’s Digest has a very good article this month about how laughing actually helps increase different things in the brain. It can help with memory and boosts your brain power. I guess we should all laugh more.

I went to a conference last week and the keynote speaker talked about how important it is to laugh. He had the whole room laughing all through his talk. And he said he belongs to a “laugh club” where no joke are told, they just laugh. I came away from the speech with new insights about laughter.