do yoga every day

Forgot this morning. Woke up with a headache again, went straight for the black coffee, which helps, and then online to check if the latest job has come in. I’m so focussed on stress and work – how can I ‘forget’ to do yoga? But… there is always this afternoon! In fact, I’m going to set a special yoga alarm for 5pm. That way I won’t conveniently forget to do something that’s good for me so that I can stress out about work/money/relationships/life instead.

Managed to do the 15 mins. Was very grumpy the whole time because I couldn’t stop thinking about the neighbour downstairs who writes us complaining letters if we make more noise than a mouse. But did the yoga!

I do Hatha Yoga. Morning practice takes 15 minutes, evening about 20. This is hardly anything at all. It is possible to do the evening practice while dinner is in the oven. I find it hard to do even this tiny amount of yoga because I really can’t relax. I am tense and bad tempered all the time, and for whatever reason I get something out of being tense and bad tempered. Yoga makes me feel good (how awful!) and calm (oh god, no!), once I can get over the panic of not being mentally stimulated for an eternal-seeming 15 minutes. Not reading, not listening to perky music, talking, writing or working. Just peace. This terrifies me. I literally have a panic attack. Sometimes it helps me to switch on the tv just at the start, then lean over and switch it off once I feel ok. Against yoga principles, I know, but it really helps.

And one thing I’ve noticed is that people (me too) beat themselves up when they don’t do it. Instead I’m going to make even the smallest gesture, even for five minutes in front of the tv, and build on it from there.