find mutual love

At this moment I feel like it would be easier to climb Mt. Everest than to find mutual love. I’ve never experienced it, and I think that everyone in the world deserves it. I define “mutual love” as: two people that love each other so much that they want to get married and have an exclusive relationship. I’ve gone out on dates and I’ve enjoyed those moments in the past. But I never felt like the relationship was so deep that it could last for an eternity. I’ve never dated a woman consistently for more than a year. I’ve had on again off again relationships, friendships, whatever. These relationships didn’t go anywhere. I’m not going to criticize these women and I’m not going to criticize myself either. Some people just weren’t meant to be together and that’s how it’s been for me. Going out on dates is nice. But there’s one thing missing from that experience: mutual love. Sometimes I love a woman 1000 times more than she loves me—-if she loves me at all. And sometimes a woman will love me more than I love her. But I have never in my life seen a “balanced equation” when it comes to love. I don’t know what the conclusion is supposed to be. I suppose if I join an online dating club I’ll get a match. And we’ll go out and fall in love and ride off into the sunset. That seems like the most logical approach. I mean, there are 6 billion people here in this world and the chances of finding someone who loves you as much as you love them are…um…3 billion to one, I guess. I mean, 3 billion men and 3 billion women…you get the picture. The women that are married and have boyfriends are not available for a relationship. And the women that don’t like me are not available either. So how many women are left? There’s no way to know. I should take a survey. Anyway, this is my wish. That I could meet a woman and go on dates with her and discover that she loves me just as much as I love her. And that would be a happy ending to the crazy moments I’ve spent dating and trying to make a relationship work. Believe me, if somebody doesn’t love you, it’s impossible to make a relationship work.