live my life by answering this question every day: "what would you do if you knew you could not fail?"

Take a deep breath
While you may not see the road ahead, it is there
You cannot control the direction of a river
Neither can the rain
So breathe my friend
The journey is long and you have just begun.

Take out a student loan and go to school full-time.

I despise that I am not college educated.

Go to PT tomorrow, work out and meet the recruiter.

I would believe in myself.

I would hold out and not cave in… I would honor myself enough to have self-discipline.

I would stop making excuses if I could just stop second-guessing myself.

If I knew I was not going to fail in my decision to make the move to Portland, I would get out of bed now, turn up the stereo and dance! And then I would call the hostel and make my reservations. And I would head out to the garage and take more pics of my belonging for sale and post more ads pushing those babies! I would clean out my car and get her sold! I would figure out when I can see my dad and siblings before I go. I would call my ex-boss and see where my freaking letter of recommendation is!

I wouldn’t hesitate. I wouldn’t worry or wonder. I wouldn’t cry.

The thing is, I know that I CAN do this and I just need to stay positive and keep moving ahead.

EDIT I dig get out of bed. I have yet to dance but I did call the hostel & make my reservations. I also e-mailed my ex-boss about my recommendation letter. I didn’t touch my car, it’s been rainy, but I did get lots done inside, including cleaning out the empty bedroom and sorting the stuff I want to take so I could gauge where I am capacity wise. I also found more stuff for selling and have decided to garage sale both tomorrow and Sunday. Hopefully the sun will come back for a couple of days!

I see progress, I feel good.