keep negative people out of my life

So I let another idiot fuck up my day again. Silly me. Why oh why do I let people have this effect on me.

I woke up this morning dreading going out for lunch with her. I didn’t know what excuse I’d give her. It’s wierd tho, cos we get along, and we can have a good time together, but a lot of the time after spending time with her I feel like crap. I don’t trust her. She’s childish in a way that only I can see. Saying things in a roundabout way, not directly at you, but you know they are about you. Fuck man, childish shit that I really cannot put into words, for fear of sounding childish myself. But I assure you I’m pretty mature. Ok, I’m someone that people who know me would describe as sweet. Avoid large-scale conflict with friends, etc. She rarely sees me angry or in any other hostile mood. So when I’m not jumpy around her she becomes a real ass. If I’m not happy to see you, I’m just not happy to see you. Shit like that that someone else would perhaps think “maybe she’s just having a bad day”.

Shit, she’s competitive too. Problem is, she ain’t fly. And I’m hella fly.

She’s so negative! That’s some annoying shit. She drags around this negative energy with her wherever she goes. I sound like a gossip, don’t I? But I’m not. Y’all are the only peeps I’ve told. No seriously, I don’t even like seeing this chick. She’s meant to be my friend, she has no idea that I feel like this about her. I don’t think I need to tell her, I’ll just minimise (severely) my contact withe her. Bitch fuck’d up my day.

Kinda scary when it seems like there might be no-one left, apart from family.

I wonder if anyone goes through what I go through with so-called “friends” sometimes. Aren’t friends supposed to respect you and make you more happy than they do sad or angry? I know that they are not responsible for you happiness. I’ve been at the point where with almost everyone, (actually, everyone) who calls themself my friends just makes me unhappy. It’s been at the point where seeing some of these people messes up my whole day. That sucks. They don’t think before they speak to me either. They bring too much negativity into my life, and I somehow need to surround myself with better people. But who. I need completely new friends.