lose 30 lbs

10 days to go until my goal date. I think I’m going to do it!!

tomorrow i get fitted for my brothers wedding. how many wedding-related outfits can montana have to wear in one summer?

the answer is TOO MANY.

this dress is SKIN tight. I am terrified of it. I dragged my son all over the place this evening to get underwear that, you know, holds you in. I had to make sure that it did it’s job but that it also was comfortable, because i like to dance, a lot. so i had a little dance party all by myself in the dressing room.

the good news is that i am closer than ever to my goal, and am edging closer by the day. i had a minor setback over the weekend, but i got over it (and myself) quickly, and have been forging ahead!

it is hot and humid out. the end of the school year is driving me crazy and right now, i would like to perhaps bathe in a tub of ice cream. or mojitos.

however, i won’t as, i just looked at my goal.

i started writing an entry last night and then closed my laptop and went to sleep. apparently i never saved it.

i haven’t weighted myself in about a week—work has been hellishly busy, and with wedding stuff i am up to my eye balls in stress.

weight keeps taking a back seat to the rest of my life. that’s silly, because though it might not affect my stress level at work, it would certainly help me feel more confident in dealing with the condecending women i deal with. I’d feel better about myself, and be happier in general…
13 days til my goal!

i was the same weight. oh well. tomorrow, as long as i am not still constipated (yeah, yeah, i know—tmi… but! i know you know the feeling!), i will be down again. :)

this week i have decided to book my first fitting date. no more putting it off, dammit!

down 15 lbs (again) today. This is 15 that aren’t coming back.

which is good because
1. i’ll want to drink more water
2. i’m not hungry when it gets this hot.

however, i have to watch out because
1. i feel sluggish and am not inclined to exercise
2. because i’m not hungry in the heat means that when it cools off i’ll be starving.
3. two words: ice cream. just because I don’t feel like making something like a salad doesn’t mean i won’t walk next door to get a small cone, darn it!

so i should:
1. go to the air conditioned gym after doing my errands this evening.
2. still drink lots of water.
3. fix something small with protein to keep myself fuller, longer.
4. stay the hell away from the Ben & Jerry’s store. stay away, montana! don’t go in!
5. remind myself of my goal. again and again and again.
6. smile.

oh yes i did. it was a while ago and i gave myself plenty of time to do it.
but while i was (hiding) away, i completely forgot about it. (hmmm. i think i must’ve forgotten on purpose!) So I don’t have that much time, and now i have to remind myself of it everyday.
I am going to be doing my best to get to my goal before my time is up. My days are numbered, true, and it will be hard, but I made myself a promise. I’d like to keep that promise. I really would. :)

so, ok… i not only slacked, i hid from 43 things for a week and a half while i backslid all over the place. oops. i went up, but as of this morning am not too bad off. 133. that means 16 to go. damn. i wish i were taller. then i’d be done already (hahaha)

time to get up, get over it, and get on.

back on track as of this VERY MOMENT.

...how this goes…

i had the cake tastings, and they were wonderful, but i kept most of the cake at bay. I am now having extra water, too.

I got on the elliptical for an hour today and then did a circuit of legs and abs. this afternoon, however, I went shopping with my maid of honor. and I realized that even if I wasn’t quite where I wanted to be yet, I was so far from where I was, before I started losing… I have gone from 147 to, currently, 132.5. I was around 147 for about 4 years, but I would fluctuate from 145 (never ever lower than that!) to 155 (ugh).

So I figure, even if I am sucking this week, I am overall, much better off, and much happier with my body, my attitude, my eating habits (certainly not perfect, but sooooo much better), and my energy level.

this is a good thing, don’t you think?? ;-)