get over my fear of flying

I had diazepam in my bag but couldn’t take it because I had to drive home from the airport.
Usually this would mean tears and panic on the plane. But I kept it together. It was tough, but I coped.
Usually I try and stop the fear. This time I said to myself, “you’re scared. This is the worst thing in life for for you” (being in a plane, esp at takeoff). So I put my feet on the shaking floor, relaxed my body and felt the terror – telling myself that if I feel it I can get through it. I kept feeling my pulse to see how it changed whe the fear had me, this helped me look at it objectively.
And it helped. The ride was bumpy, which would usually have me almost hysterical, but I mellowed to a kind of weary despair. An improvement I think.
A long way to go, but I’ll get there.