feel pretty

I’m such a wimp when it comes to comments on my looks.. they didn’t even say my nose was big and now I’m freaking out..

It isn’t that huge.. is it? I thought I had an average nose.. its just a nose! Why do these things bug me so much? I can’t exactly hate them, I mean I wouldn’t get surgery to change myself. So I should be able to live with it..

right?

I’m deciding not to pick myself apart. I’ll get dressed, eat my food, and imagine I look gorgeous. I just need to avoid all items that have reflections.

I keep taking two steps forward and then one step back. I just need to take care of myself and think highly of myself, everything will fall into place soon and I’ll feel wonderful everyday.

I hate this goal. Its impossible. Some days I’ll feel wonderful but then the next day I feel like I’m the size of a whale.

I hate this goal.

I’ve started to do little things to myself (as suggested) and i do feel better. Leaving my dad’s house helped too, everyone here is nice to me. they don’t point out my flaws.

My hair is getting longer now, and looks better. Not nearly as poofy as it usually is. I’m also eating healthier and biking every day for atleast half an hour. Even if it isn’t making a difference it does help me, I am doing something about it.

I’m beginning to think I can do this.

all self-esteem i worked hard to get is now gone. poof. it took months to get to where i was and now i’m back where i started.

visits with him always do this to me.

today was the first day in years that i looked at myself and felt content.

i’m close.

I almost never like my looks, people joke about me all the time. I have curly hair, its thick and impossible to straighten. I’m not cute, i’m not pretty, and i’m absolutely not beautiful.

I’ve been trying to like me for a very long time but I just can’t. People have told me I was pretty but when its family how can it be true, they have to say that.

I will like who i am.
I will feel pretty.
I will look at myself and say, “i look ok.”
I will be happy.

I will do these things, I just don’t know how or when.