stop depending on others for my happiness

‘Be a light unto yourself; betake yourselves to no external refuge. Hold fast to the Truth. Look not for refuge to anyone besides yourselves.’ – Buddha Gautama

I’m trying to accept that his dreams keep coming true.

The next step is to be happy for him.

especially when people affect you so much.

it’s lovely to have someone who makes each day brighter.
every day that you see them, albeit for two minutes, or just a smile in passing, if they can make you feel sparkly inside it’s wonderful.
but today i didn’t enjoy being ignored. and it shouldn’t have ruined my mood.

i hate feeling alone. i don’t like being left out by others, it’s something you can’t ignore. so i was depending on other’s for happiness. failed.

better luck tomorrow. and every other day.

I know that smile.
it hurts me to see you happy. but it would hurt me to see you sad.
i just wish he could be happy with me.

Don’t try to hide the facts, it’s staring everyone in the face.
people ask me what’s happening with you two.
they once asked the same regarding myself.

both times i say ‘i don’t know…’ but no longer with a smile.

i know how he makes you feel.