Ptyalise Sexily

I don’t normally pay much attention to subscriber numbers but this was a bit hard to miss. Seriously, eight gone in one day?

Do I swear too much? Did I fail to entertain you? Or was it my efforts to take my sister on a short trip that offended you so? I guess I’ll never know.

Oh well, so long, and thanks for all the fish.
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Not one lousy cheer available to give away?

Cheer fairy, sometimes you really are a first class bitch!
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beyond all reason by the lyrics of this song by Stooshe

Daddy I’ve fallen for a monster,
Somehow he’s scaring me to death,
He’s big and bad,
I love him like mad,
Momma, he’s the best I ever had,
Daddy I’ve fallen for a monster,
He’s got a black heart.

1. Daddy’s only response should be, “Get the hell out of there daughter”
2. Momma’s response should be, “Do like your Daddy says. And daughter?...Inappropriate! Tell your girlfriends if you must.”
3. WAKE THE HELL UP WOMAN!! Stop being such a sap. Stop making this bullshit acceptable.

_{Thank you for listening.}
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I have 51 cheers when I log on (YAY!)

I respond to one comment and give one cheer. I have 26 cheers left. (Say, what?!)

I hurriedly give away two more cheers. I have 22 cheers left. (Huh?)

I run through my subscriber feed, cheering as fast as I can. I have 0 cheers left.

I only gave away 13 cheers in total you silly moo. Do the maths…I should have 38 cheers still (39 if you count the one Crunchy just gave me – thanks honey). Where have the rest gone?

Oooh, you do make me cross sometimes cheer fairy…
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The text books are incomprehensible, the language impenetrable to me.

I have tried, I swear I have, but I am still left confused, brain throbbing and tearful. All I want to know is what was best, the method used by this group of people or the method used by that one. Why, why, why can I not work out what bloody analysis I should be using?!

I wish my brain would cooperate and grasp this in the way it merrily absorbs other information! I’ve been reading stats books for the last 5 hours…I’m going to bed :-(
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specifically about changing myself.

See, for as long as I can remember I’ve battled with myself, trying to shape and form, improve certain aspects of myself; it’s exhausting and quite often doesn’t lead to a whole lot of change.

That’s not to say nothing has changed; I have undoubtedly made huge forward progress over the years and am much happier with myself as a person than previously, but some things have prove stubborn.

Take my most recent attempts to impose order in my life for example; this involves getting up at a ‘normal’ time in the morning and doing a certain amount of studying during the day.

The day I got up early I did some work but it wasn’t flowing as I’d have liked; the day I got up late and worked late into the night, I got shed-loads done and really got into a rhythm. This is no surprise to me because I’ve long known that I work well late at night and in the early hours of the morning.

• Earlier, more socially acceptable waking time = because I feel I ‘ought’ to.

• A certain amount of studying = because I feel I should and I want to.

• Studying during the day = because I feel that’s ‘normal’ and I should have a ‘proper’ schedule.

So out of three things there was only one that I really had any personal motivation to change; the other two were based on others’ expectations (or my assumptions of their expectations).

No wonder I feel so pressured and miserable half the time…I’m trying to force change where it’s really not necessary or wanted.

In this instance, I know when optimal study time is for me and I should just go with that…use my knowledge of myself positively and work it to its best advantage. Having made the decision to do that I already feel lighter of being.

I know that when I need to have more socially regular hours that I will also want to and be capable of making the change; I’ve worked plenty of 9-5s in my time!

How often do we set ourselves up for failure when we try to crowbar change in ourselves just because we think we ‘ought’ to rather than because we really need or want to? I’m certainly going to keep an eye out for that from now on; I think it will be a much more peaceful existence.
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the way the side quotes on 43T pages can be so pertinent it’s a little spooky?

The quote I can see right now reads:
“To be ourselves we need other people” – Charles Handy

Over Christmas and New Year I’ve been miserable; there have been plenty of reasons for this, some in my control but mostly not. I’ve come to this site over and over, typed and deleted numerous posts, wanted to reach out but somehow been unable to. In short, I’ve been sinking so far into myself that I don’t even feel like me any more. It needs to stop…I need other people. The trouble is I’m not sure what it is I need and even if I did I seem to have lost the ability to ask; I feel like I’m always whining about something, which is undoubtedly an unpleasant and deeply boring trait.

I didn’t used to be like this but I can’t pinpoint how and when it began to change. I remember I used to have seemingly boundless energy and enthusiasm, a zest for life that crackled constantly, a cheerful disposition and a positive outlook but now I’m always sluggish and tired, cynical, weighed down by fears and uncertainty…I wish there was a ‘Restore Factory Settings’ button for me!

If that quote is correct then maybe, just maybe, my friends here can help me find myself again…or maybe that’s just ridiculous and cowardly passing of responsibility which is in fact all mine. I don’t know. I’m floundering.
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I went to NW to see if I could pick up a few extra cheers so that I could repay some of the support being sent my way; I wish I hadn’t.

I am shocked by the judgements, assumptions and small mindedness on display there. I’m sorry of you are one of those who think that wanting to commit suicide in a way that doesn’t hurt one’s family is reason to be kicked off the site, and I’m sorry if you think eating disorders are a reason for a person to be ostracised, but I absolutely disagree with you. Has it ever crossed your mind that some compassion, some understanding, might be all that is required to save a life? Even if you don’t feel able to offer it, must you prevent another from offering it by having these accounts deleted?

And talk about show me a conclusion and I’ll jump to it; a goal to “throwup” is deemed to be “pro-ana”? Well excuse my limited thinking, but how exactly do you derive one from the other? Judgements are made about goals with no entries; pray tell me, are you privvy to more information than I? It appears you know the intent in the mind of the goal’s creator even though many of those goals have never had entries made to them; how do you get to know this stuff?

Over there, on NW, we can all do our thing anonymously; over here, on my own page I can openly and transparently make my feelings known… I feel that what is currently going on in NW displays a gross lack of tolerance, benevolence and compassion.

NW is a great tool to keep this site free from spammers, advertisers and other such detritus; it’s not meant to be used to turn 43T into a private members club designed to fit a few people’s personal tastes and ideology.

:::wipes chin and apologises for once again not fulfilling the ‘sexily’ part of this goal:::
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over the past days with tears pouring down my face and rage in my soul at those who would find any excuse to destroy their own home towns, to steal what they will not work for, to kill innocent people trying to protect their homes and businesses…I am disgusted and heartbroken.

But as always, there is the other side…the determined and the defiant…the good and decent who will not just walk away and let mobs rule.

I didn’t know about Operation Clean-Up otherwise I would have been there.

Good people, you have restored a little of my faith, you have put humanity and caring back into our towns and cities. Children, teenagers and young adults particularly, this must be hard for you as you know so many will lump you all together with those who have no pride, morals or integrity…thank you for standing up and saying “No”.
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I’d like to clear something up; the issue of how to shorten my name to a more easily manageable length :D

I’m aware it’s clunky, but there’s a reason for the length… let me tell you a story…

When I was opening this account I wanted to have a name that inspired me, said something about who I am and who I intend to become…so I chose the name Warrior Queen. It worked for how I was feeling at that time; strong confident, bold, proud. However, I was conscious that I had felt that way in the past yet had at some stage once again become fearful, withdrawn, inactive. It seemed reasonable to assume that I would experience such a slump again (and lo and behold…!); I felt that to call myself a Warrior Queen at such times could be a little misleading and untrue, hence the Jellied Eel part of the name. I’m not precious about the name, I think I just wanted to be honest in who I say I am.

So to the abbreviation aspect; many of you are going for the full hit, i.e. TWQ&TJE. Well, this is actually the reason I’m making this post; when I scan read I frequently miss-see this as TWAT. Obviously it’s only a momentary mistake, but still…

How about we shorten this whole chunk of letters down to WQ? She’s the primary component of this account, the other side just comes along for the ride, like a parasite or something ;p
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