Reveal Bare Asses and Boobies

Group of teenage lads sitting in the same train carriage as me:

Boy 1: Oh god, that stinks. Who farted?

Boy 2: Well it can’t have been me ‘cos I don’t like it.

Boy 1: What the fuck? You weirdo!

Boys 3, 4 & 5: It wasn’t me; I didn’t do it; Don’t be blaming me…

Boy 6 (proudly): It was me. And if you were real friends you’d all stand around and take deep breaths.

Boys 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & My Thoughts: You are disgusting!
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^{Son’s response to my comment regarding the Mount Olympus size spot currently creating landscape on my chin.}

Yeah, it is pretty big…kinda like a third chin or something.

:::Pause two beats; eyes widen; mouth forms ‘O’:::

I mean…ermm…No. Not 3 chins. No chins. I mean… I need to check on the bath…

:D
^{For the record, the spot is undeniable huge but I definitely only have one chin!}

Young voice yelling loudly in street: “OW_WUH!” (you know it’s bad when there’s emphasis on the ‘W’ ;p)

:::slight pause:::

“I said OW, you bastard!“

??
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that notifications were out.

I thought no-one was talking to me ;-)

Sorry if it looked like I was ignoring you! I’m going to do some reading.
x

So, guys, listen up…no, seriously, LISTEN UP!

_{(Hey, check out my dominant side ;D)}

Some advice:

If you’re out running, and it’s dark, do not run up behind a woman walking alone down a shadowy street. She will probably hurt you.

^{I’m sorry about your ankle/shin Mr Jogger…but seriously…!}
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P.S. That sounds like a more dangerous situation than it really was…it was a ‘low risk’ short walk in my own neighbourhood at 6pm…he was inconsiderate and I was just a little jumpy. That’s all.

Lady to little boy: “So, what’s your daddy’s name?”

Little boy: “Ummm…my daddy’s called Darling.”

Awww…
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I believe most of us can think of things that we’ve done or perhaps said aloud safe in the knowledge that we are alone…those things that you would not do or say publicly (you know, like crazy dancing or having a conversation with the cat where you give voice to the cat’s answers as well as your side of things…or is that just me?!).

Occasionally there is a brain fart and these behaviours manifest in front of others…in this house we call that ‘having an alone moment’.

Recently I have caught both of the guys in my house having alone moments which made me laugh so much I have to share them:

(Deep, menacing voice): “Yeh muffin, you’re getting it…”
(Alarmed little squeaky voice): “Oh no…not the muffin man!”

2) Son in bedroom with the Dawg, unaware that I was in the bathroom and able to hear him -

(Increasingly gruff voice): “Lay down…Laaay Dooown…LAAAY DOOOWN…”
(Normal voice): ”...said the giant.”

My family appears to live in a series of fairy tales!
_{My mother points out that the common factor is that they live with me! Thanks Mum!}
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in particular, strapless ones as shown in the picture.

Now, I think these dresses are lovely, feminine and summery but to me there has always been a little flaw in the design, so I do not possess one.

However, as is the way with fashion, many, many people do own and wear such dresses. Perhaps you are one of them? In which case, seriously, read on and think on…

Today, in the middle of a very busy shopping area, I watched a lady prove my point about flawed design as she walked up the inside front of her lovely maxi dress resulting in said dress becoming a skirt as the top part slid down to her waist. She was not wearing a bra. Poor, poor embarrassed lady!

_{Yes, I was laughing in the most despicable fashion but I didn’t let her see that}

Don’t let it be you next ;p
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...this is a place to record snippets of overheard conversations; those strange and silly things that people say…

Two young girls going past my open window (age around 9):

“Did you hear, Coco got run over?”

“Coco got run over?!”

“Yeah. How embarrassing’s that?”

WTF????!

(Unless Coco is the school pedestrian crossing patrol person….in which case, yes, fairly embarrassing!!)