Unmedicated, I’m very intense, but too impulsive and reckless. With the medication, I’m more reasonable, but it dampens my enthusiasm for things. Plus, the things that make me feel passionate about life aren’t really options for me, so I need a different focus.
At the moment, I just don’t feel as if anything I do is important enough to bother. I paint paintings that just end up in the way. I get discouraged with my lack of artistic skills. I’m in an environment that doesn’t support any of my creative attempts, so that sort of dampens my spirit as well.
