Establish a comfort zone for myself

I don’t miss the money I am putting back bi-weekly any more. I am making my cyclical bills, although I could work on more precise timing because I am a few days late here and there. I have paid off my car now. Next mission is to pay off every bill except the house…. I know I can’t do that yet. I’m going to have to stick to the plan a few more years to accomplish that.

My goal is really to abandon this MrAverage persona in favor of MrCasual in the not-too-distant future.
I still feel it truly stinks to have to go out and earn a paycheck. I have been doing that now for 37 years. I’m more than a little miffed at MrPast thinking MrFuture should have to handle all that uptaking of financial responsibility stuff. MrPast should have done his part so MrNow could be on Easy Street like he feels he deserves…... LOL

So much for being recognized by the world as being financially responsible. I was late by a matter of a few days, three times in the past year on paying a credit card bill…. and the credit card company sent me a letter telling me they had canceled my account. I’ve had that account since 2001 and have owed it as much as $3000 and paid it to zero by the next billing cycle… When they cancelled my card I owed them $51. That’s it… I had a $1000 plus balance that I let go an extra two weeks past due I paid the month before…. So they ax’ed me…. now I have only a debit card which means I can’t secure hotel accommodations and I can’t rent cars any more at most agencies. This is not comfortable at all. I guess they showed me… I better be a ‘good boy’ from now on…. Well = they can all KMA!

I paid off some big expenses recently. I disconnected my home landline, which I have had for many, many years. It was a bit heart-wrenching, believe it or not, but the only thing we had used for in years was to find an errant cell phone or make sure it would ring. Saves $40 a month. I downsized my cable to basic. we only watch the networks anyway…. saved another $40 there, each month. I’m getting my son to take back is own car insurance payment next month….. he just needed a little help to smooth his way….. that’ll be another $50 a month. Oh, and I reduced my cell phone plan and saved $20 a month….. I’m taking my lunch a lot nowadays, and I’m actually performing reasonably well at work, I think. I am still maxing out my 401K contribution. That’s about as stiff a slope as I can walk up right now…. wish I could do more, but I’m getting freed up, little by little. Two more years and I will really be postured well, I feel. If I can only remain viable these next two years. Hope, hope hope. One day at a time, always.

This auto bailout fiasco has brought me to the realization that lots of folks have been deluding themselves about their comfort zone for a long time and that’s about to change. The real message is the one we are not hearing. the UAW, the source of “security” for all these auto workers has been absolutely mute through this time. They must know the real solution is in adjusting the expectations of every individual worker. It can either come like an axe falls, or it can be managed…. the UAW needs to engage. Now would be nice. Bring some real solutions to the table. That’s what they have been collecting those dues for. Represent the workforce. Protect those jobs through willingness to change/compromise. Otherwise all or most of the auto workers of the US have no comfort zone, any more.

hmmm. A comfort zone for me is this. I could be free from the fears that clutter my path. I’d be free of the regrets I feel over my actions from times past. I wouldn’t have to stress my self today to preserve my environment…. my house, my access to funds for food to eat and clothes to wear…..
..... and yet, I could afford a place to shelter from the weather, in fact, there are places I can’t be removed from where I can get that shelter I need, indefinitely. I couldn’t be in charge at any of them, but I have the right and privelage to be there, and from there I can experience the world, otherwise. I wouldn’t be comfortable and so those places are not in my comfort self-defined comfort zone. I should pay off my house. This is where I am comfortable. Nowhere else. I can’t do that for at least 4 more years. Do I have 4 years to live outside of a comfort zone before that alone kills me? Maybe.
..... Transpotation. I would have to be able to drive to get food. I can drive, but if I lose my health I won’t be able to drive. Am I afraid of that today? No. I’m comfortable with that. I don’t own my car, but I could, tomorrow, if that was all I had to protect against.
..... The food could become unobtainable. I could lack money to get food, but not for long enough such that I really am not worried about it.
..... Money. It is what all the uncertainties about obtaining this goal I have is based on. I need $1XXXXX more dollars. Replace the X with any number and I could work things out.

I have sufficient clothing, probably for the rest of my life. I might need some socks and shorts. That’s trivial.

No, I don’t have a comfort zone. I need one. I dislike my job in several ways, chief of which is I can’t perform it up to my own expectations. Try as I might, I can’t seem to lower my expectations of self.