breastfeed for 6 months

Well, Ive stopped breastfeeding I think.

Willow was exclusively breastfed for 4 months and then combination fed until she was 5 months (20 weeks). My milk simply wont hold out while I am combination feeding which is why I am going to now stop, I just dont have any.

I am marking this as done, rather than giving up, because I want to feel good about exclusively breastfeeding for 4 months. From my posts people will know that I was realy enjoying it, and was considering breastfeeding much longer than the 6 month mark… but for my second baby on the trot, mother nature had something else in mind.

I was gutted to have to stop. I still am a bit. But I hope that Willow got a lot of goodness from the breastfeeding I did achieve. Despite having had difficulties (again) I will still attempt breastfeeding with baby number 3. Maybe next time Ill even manage to get through the full 6 months!

Once I have finished my doula training I want to study to become a breatstfeeding counsellor. I cant do it under LLL as they would consider me a failure even though it really isnt my fault that Ive had to stop early :o( but I can do it through Childbirth International. Part of my work as a doula I really want to help women be prepared for breastfeeding – there is so much which you dont know in advance and I really want to support it to be a tiny bit less of a culture shock!

So yes. I have two frozen bags of breastmilk in the freezer – will give those to Willow and then she’ll stop being a breastfed baby. x

Willow is about 4 1/2 months old and we are managing to get her to have one breastfeed a day, although Im not sure how long thats going to hold out. Am still aiming to keep getting a bit of breastmilk into her until she is 6 months, but its going to be difficult. She is 95% formula fed now, and although it isnt what I had in mind, she is happy and seems to be healthy, so I guess in the end thats the important thing.

Willow is no longer exclusively breastfed.

We took her to baby clinic yesterday, and she had not put on any weight in the last fortnight, and only put on about 11oz in the last 2 months. Babies are roughly expected to put on about 5/6oz a week.

Willow has been on nursing strike for the last week, refusing the breast and only really taking bottle – so all in all I didnt feel like I had much choice but to start supplementing.

I really wanted Willow to be exclusively breastfed for 6 months, but it seems to be detrimental to her wellbeing to pursue this ideal any longer. She needs to put some weight on now, she is so skinny bless her.

Im still going to attempt to keep breastfeeding her until she is 6 months, obviously it will just be mixed feeding now. I do feel a bit like I have failed, but I realise thats only because I set a very high goal for myself which forces beyond my control have stopped me from achieving.

Our health visitor said that I needed to stop looking at what I havent done (ie. fed her exclusively for 6 months) and look at what I have done – fed her exclusively for 4 months. I know this, and I think when she starts piling on the pounds, Ill come to see it was the right decision.

I just really wanted it to work this time around, and am still questionning what I could have done differently. Logically I can see that Im being silly but those maternal hormones are still making me feel crap about it.

Willow is on nursing strike, and has been for about the last week. NOT helpful as her weight is too low and we were meant to be trying to encourage her feeding to encourage some better weight gain and discourage the HV putting pressure on me to start giving her formula. Obviously if Willow is hungry and I cant produce enough, then we will supplement, but I want to be sure before we make that decision… and Willow isnt helping at the moment!

So in order to get some food into her, I have been pumping and giving her the milk via a bottle. The pro side is I can see how much she is drinking (as Ive never had a clue) and she also seems to vomit less when she drinks from a bottle? But Im going to need ot enourage her back to the breast at some point or my supply will dwindle, plus bottles are a faff ;o)

Not sure what has caused Willows strike. It looks like her bottom teeth are coming through already, so could be that, but who knows. She does look increasingly skinny these days so Im a little worried but she seems happy and healthy enough most of the time, so maybe she is just a skinny thing?!

but we have encountered a problem. Willow is not putting on enough weight, and has dropped down the percentile chart from 50% to between 9-25%. This happened with Oren too, and in the end I was so guilted by the HVs that I stopped feeding him entirely and swtiched to formula.

Im not giving in to formula just yet – although unless the HV sees improvement in Willows weight, she is going to strongly suggest I try supplementing Willows feeds.

I feel very strongly about wanting to continue exclusively breastfeeding Willow, I really want to get to the 6 month mark, and then have the choice of what I do, but Im not sure whether this is going to be possible now. Obviously I dont want to keep Willow exclusive if it is detrimental to her health, but I dont want to switch unless I have to.

I dont think its a milk supply problem, as I seem to have plenty of milk, so I think it is a quality issue. I perhaps have more foremilk than hindmilk? Willow has also recently started suffering with really bad gas, and from reading online it seems that foremilk which is high in sugar causes gasiness and fussiness in babies, so if I have more foremilk this might explain that.

BashfulC doesnt really understand why I feel so strongly about wanting to exclusively feed Willow until she is 6 months, and I cant find a way of explaining it either!

All I can do for now is keep eating, try to rest(haha) as much as possible, try and make sure Willow is emptying one side before moving to the other and try not to stress about it.

Today Willow is 3 months old which means we’ve been exclusively breastfeeding for 3 months now! Am very pleased – means we are half way through this goal and definitely the hiardest part is behind us now.

Over the last week Willow has also started taking a bottle of expressed milk, which means I can actually leave her for a few hours knowing she can be fed by someone else! We’ve also been giving her a dreamfeed, and most nights when she has one she sleeps through the night, which is very nice when it happens!

So this goal continues to be a success, and at this rate I think I my continue to feed beyond 6 months…

The new wardrobe I have from BOOB makes such a difference. On Sunday we went to a Church service in our village, and I had a nice BOOB dress to wear so I didnt feel dowdy, and it meant when Willow started fussing half way through, I could feed her and no one could tell at all – the clothes are SO discrete.

Well, no one could tell I was feeding by me having to pull my boobs out, but it was fairly amusing as Willow is not always the quietest feeder, and she excelled herself that day. She was slurping and gulping away – so everyone in the Church could hear her!! (Its only tiny) It was very funny.

Cant believe we are almost 3 months in, so my goal is half complete already. Although it has been more difficult this time around, it has also been much easier – so strange.

Went to baby clinic for the first time today, which wasnt nearly as much of a palava as I have feared. In fact, we were ready to go in plenty of time and timed it all perfectly. Didnt have to queue when we got there, just went straight in.

Willow did a huge wee as I put her on the scales though, which was very funny. Luckily she only got herself and the scales, both myself, Oren and the HV managed to miss being hit!

Willow weighs 11lbs 4.5oz – so still sitting perfectly on the 50th percentile. Im really happy, because it was at this point last year that I had supply problems with Oren, and clearly I dont have any with Willow.

Also got Oren weighed while we were there, and he is 23lbs and a bit, which puts him between the 25th and 50th percentile – so thats also really reassuring, as he has always been on the lighter side, but he is averaging out now.

So a good morning all round!

Feeling quite pleased with myself – am 8 weeks in and madam is still exclusively breastfed. In fact, so much so that she is refusing to take a bottle at all, which is a little problematic!

My pumping has tailed off a bit this week – madam just seems to be eating more on a morning and leaving me with not enough to pump. But it is still variable so will have to see how this one develops.

Willow is 10lbs 7oz today, on her 6 week birthday. She is sitting firmly on the 50th percentile which I am delighted about. Am feeling a lot more confident in my ability to produce what she requires. I think eating and drinking enough is making a big difference – I really do seem to have more milk on the days when I have remembered to drink lots of water.

Willow’s thrush seems to have reoccured but the HV wasnt that concerned, as it was just patches on her cheeks but her tongue was clear. Hopefully we will be able to clear it up before it spreads to my nipples again, as I just cant take the awful pain with accompanies it!