Find balance.

is pregnant again (we were both pregnant at the same time when I was carrying Willow) so she will have a similar age gap between her children (a bit bigger) as I have between mine. The boss of Oren’s nursery is pregnant too and has a huge baby bump, and a bunch of people I know on FB.

Im pleased for them all – Im pleased for anybody who is having a baby cos its so amazing… and I am a little bit jealous… not huge amounts but I am a little bit. I know its mad because I have a baby and a toddler… its just that programming has really kicked in! I woke up yesterday from a dream that I was pregnant, and I realised that I had a pillow rolled up against my belly like I was pregnant and stroking it like a baby belly!

I think what will make this easier is when I can start to do the things which are the nice things about not being pregnant – e.g. able to have a drink, go out for a nice meal, no morning sickness, so SPD, fit into nice non-elasticated clothes…

I am going to need to practise being happy for people rather than a little envious of their bumps, especially as I am changing careers to work with pregnant women!!!! Im hoping we will start trying again in about 2 years… which isnt that long really. And there is a bunch of exciting things to focus on in the short term future – a change in career, setting up our own business, possibly getting married, holidays, and just lovely times with the lovely family we are already.

So yes, I am trying to find balance in this. I dont want to be the woman with a million children and the only thing that she feels she can do is push out babies! There is a lot more to me than that, but wow, I do understand those ladies that have several children a lot more than I ever thought I would!

Had a good week this week – got out of the house every day and made a lot of progress in areas I hadnt even been planning on progressing yet.

We went to visit the nursery which I had seen advertised in the village next to us, and it is lovely. It does hourly rates, which means we can afford to put Oren in there for 2 hours every week – so that I can have a break to get on with a few things and spend time with Willow. Oren trialled it out this week and seemed to really enjoy it, so Im really pleased with that.

Then I had seen a job advertised which sounded perfect – working with a client group which I am desperate to start working with, home-based, part time, earning similar ££ to what I used to be on, and I have skills & experience needed for the role. I submitted my application and had been invited to interview before the deadline even closed. I have some reservations about the role, but think on the whole I would really enjoy it and it could be a stepping stone to something else. Primarily it would mean not having to return to my old workplace too, which would be a relief. Interview is next Monday, so will have to see whether or not that goes well…

I went to my fitness class again this week, and still enjoyed it even though I was on my own. Im already a bit gutted that Ill have to miss my class next week, so may have to try and go a different evening than usual.

But things seem to be going pretty well at the moment, am just hoping that this continues!