find the love of my life

Does this really mean trying again or fixing what’s wrong while it’s happening?

If it means trying again then I have no more to say.
If it means fixing what’s wrong while it’s happening…then how far is too far to go? How far does one truly go to find or keep love? How much does one take and give to reconcile with the past? And the present? For the future???

I experienced a conversation today with my “current” ex that got me thinking. Can we still create a reaction with only a spark?

I know that it’s very possible for two people to fall out of love with each other. One moves on. One doesn’t have the heart or mind to try.

But what part does a spark play? I define a spark as interest. Seeking another out. Maybe wishfully thinking but it still is an interest. So I guess I wonder if that’s enough to ablaze romance.

Is it the foolishness of want that keeps the spark or is it genuine interest? If it’s interest are we denying ourselves by actually trying to hold onto something we loved in the hope of just the love?

Here’s hoping that I’m not selling myself short. ; P

How far does one truly go to forgive or forget?

I suppose the definition of both are necessary.

To forget is to forget. But how does one forget something like having a love one stray elsewhere. In my eyes an interest somewhere else is a lack of interest in me.

Forgiveness – is much harder to define. For I believe that true forgiveness needs no explaination. But there are also levels of forgiveness.

Do we forgive to keep what we have and thus settle? Do we forgive because the connection is far too pure to destroy? Do we forgive to just forgive?

Is it possible for someone to make a true mistake in love?
Can fear factor?

So I’ve heard that love means never having to say you’re sorry.

If that’s true why do we as people find it easier to say sorry or try and correct mistakes made then just to try even harder not to make them. I know that perfect doesn’t exist but love does.

Doesn’t love mean giving your all to someone else in every capacity available. True it may not be logic or reason based but what truly is in this life.

So this being said I add if life is meant to be lived. And its better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.

Then regret is the part of you that says I’m sorry to the self. No more regrets for me. I find now that I’ve never been sorry for the love I’ve had for another. And if I don’t regret it, then I won’t apologize for it eaither. XO.

It’s the most frightening word in the English language. But if you enjoy the person you are with then why. It’s with them.

I thought I again found it. Bengi. Always.

I know from this though. What I need to do is get and keep what means the most to me.

No longer “What Hurts the Most”
Saying it when it’s necessary. And enjoying it.