stand up for myself

and learning how to deal effectively with a bully is key. I was helped by these books. I realized I was being far too tough on myself, and giving other people’s preferences and standards too much weight—when it comes to me, my own standards and judgments and preferences rule so that I can live the happy, joyous life I was intended to.

means not taking the bait in the first place. The bait: learn it, recognize it, deflect it. Like with those Wonder Woman bracelets.

As important as anybody’s, and as valid as anybody’s. I deserve to have me stand up for what I want and need.

was recognizing when I needed to stand up for myself. It’s easy when it’s obvious, but there’s a lot of “cloak and dagger” out there.
I just read a good book “In Sheep’s Clothing” about covert aggression. Aha! Totally recommend it.

First, I want to be able to recognize when I need to stand up for myself (like when someone’s being passive aggressive, sometimes it slips by me), and that I need to make sure I’m taking care of myself. I think that can be half the battle. I want to learn ways to “call them on it” or hold them accountable, not get upset and emotionally reactive, but calm myself down and respond in an appropriate, measured and assertive manner.

I tend to be pretty easygoing and giving with people I care about, but sometimes that means that they end up getting their way all the time, and I don’t. I think it ends up undermining their respect for me and then they take the selfishness up a notch, then I get resentful and annoyed with both of us. So that’s another way that I need to stand up for myself. I need to recognize and assert my preferences more often.