Commit Random Acts of Insanity

See title

Out of stupid madness and crazy randomness, I now have a bunk bed. I only went to Ikea for a desk and now I can barely sleep. It’s that high up I can smell the ceiling. It’s a bugger cause I keep hitting my damn head all through the night.
Ikea is evil.

Drinking is bad.
It really is.

I didn’t know the shaver was on 3mm.
I only wanted to make my mohican more prominant, and what happens? I end up practically bald on both sides of my head.

I have to stop drinking.

So I only go to the shop for some apples. [to turn them into shrunken heads ready for Halloween, naturally]
And I end up coming back from the shop with bags of sweets. Bags.
I forgot the damn apples. I don’t have any damn apples.

But then I tasted the sweets, and my ADD loved them. Those little hard drops. They’re Heaven in my hand.
Whoever invented these things; I owe you. I owe you everything.

I had another accident. I decided to put a bit of bleach onto my beard, just to see if it went yellow….

Well I got hooked watching Married with Children, and I left it on for too long. (1 1/2 hours)
I now have a mini beard to give Santa a run for his money.

Seriously, my beard is WHITE. It’s just shocking. I’m keeping it, you know, cause it’s funny, but I’m gonna have to take a look at it in the morning. Haha, I dunno.
I just couldn’t leave it alone could I?

Well, not so ‘age old mystery’, but as I just made it up.
It needs to be done; in the name of randomness and drunkeness.

I coloured my beard yesterday….

I had to do it didn’t I? No, I don’t look more Orlando Bloom, I look more like a cartoon god damn villian.
I might as well wax it and make it a mini devil beard.