be a better mother

We took the kids trick-or-treating tonight. Brynne was a “bride/fairy/princess” and Izaak was a pea in a pod. Get it? princess an the pea…awwww! They were so stinkin cute i couldnt stand it. Brynne was in princess mode and totally in character all night long. The pure joy of a 4 year old running from door to door…it was a lovely time. Good family time. She made sure to thank each person she got candy from..and i didnt have to remind her. Feels good to know that im doing a good job.

Today i was in a hurry to get ready b/c i thought my dogs vet appointment was at 1:30 instead of 2:30. So i took my shower and got out all in a hurry and was trying to get dressed…and out of the corner of my eye i see little pink feet. Brynne had her zip up pj’s on and she was hiding behind my open laundry room door. I could see her through the mirror with the biggest smile on her pretty little face. Last week i prolly would have ignored her and finished getting ready…but today i took 3 minutes to indulge her and played hide-n-seek w/ her.
Then she was asking me 50 questions about Gia’s vet appointment and i had finally had enough. But instead of getting frustrated w/ her i said…”you know Brynne…i havent told Gia that shes going to the vet yet..if you keep talking about it she might get scared…” (5 points to nena for creativity!) Worked for a few minutes but then she just wispered her questions. hahahah

Ive been conciously trying to be patient and the one thing iknow is that nothing makes you more impatient than trying to be patient! No, im just kidding. Its really helping. Im finding that im catching myself b/c im mindful of it.

My mother-in-law has never really been fond of me. Our relationship has grown through the 5 years ive been married to her son but even still…she doesnt go out of her way if you know what i mean.
One day, we were all sitting around the table and one of the kids (she has 9 of them!) decided that they wanted to know what mom liked about him. She replied that she thought he was funny. This prompted a whole hour of her going around the room ad sharing what she thought were the most redeemable qualities about each of the kids and whoever else happened to be in the room. One was funny, another was athletic, anohter was a good cook…and so on. When she got to me i was thinking “oh great! Here it comes!” but she shocked me..she said “Christina is a good mom.”
I wasnt the only one who was shocked. I mean…she has 9 kids…and 13 grandchildren (mine are #12 and 13 so im new to the game. She certianly never expected me to amount to much of anything…especially not the parent that ive become. For her to verbalize it, in front of everyone! was just unbelievable. I spose ive been searching for her approval for quite some time now. For this to be her compliment…i just wasnt expecting it.
I started thinking… Sure my kids are polite, well behaved in restraunts, dont scream in the grocery store and so on and so forth but honestly, Im really not that great of a mother. Im too impatient. I raise my voice when i shouldnt. Daddy is the one my daughter goes to when she wants to play b/c im usually too busy to stop what im doing. Truly if she really knew the reality of our home then she would have said something different about me.
Ive decided to prove her right. Im going to make time when i dont have it. Im going to not get frustrated when i have to repeat things 10 times b/4 she actually hears me. Im not going to dismiss her when she asks 20 questions and i dont have any more answers. Im going to play like Daddy does. Im going to make her laugh everyday. Im going to make her feel like shes the most important thing in my life and give her as much attention as i did the day i brought her home. Im going to be the mother she deserves.