be a better mother

Just like eating ice cream from the carton with a spoon is a no-no that feels nice, I’ve been letting my kids (and the dog) sleep in my room; my daughter in the bed with me, and my son and the dog on pallets on the floor. It feels good to wake up stepping over soundly sleeping kids and animals, and I know that we all sleep better together, but I gotta stop it. I’ve gotta quit being selfish, and get used to sleeping alone.

lights up at any opportunity to spend time together. Last night, she and I went to pick up an order I’d placed for steamed white rice (I didn’t want to eat yellow), and we opened the sunroof, turned the radio up full blast, and jammed! Her face was lit up the entire night after that. I think I’ll focus just that much more on making (and keeping) her smiling.

Even the boys, as we sat at the computer, looking up lyrics to our favorite songs, seemed to really enjoy my “one on three” attention. I had forgotten how I used to be able to turn to my kids to keep me uplifted, and vice versa.

This evening is my daughter’s first “public performance” since we moved to Georgia. It’s a Christmas show, and she’s one of the third grade singers….Now, don’t get me wrong, they’re probably ALL singing, but I HAVE to make it a point to be so OVERLY PROUD of my kids’ accomplishments, till they border on embarrassment. It’s one of those things that makes memories! My mother did it to me, and I have memories that make me laugh out loud at 30 years old. So…..Guess who’s got new camera batteries, installed, with the camera in my purse, all ready to “point, click, and cheer!”

I had previously told her that I would not allow her to wear her hair down…that it was too “grown up” for her, my “baby girl”. Well, as she was watching me curl my hair, with “that look” that I used to give my own mother, I conceded, patially. I curled the back in big candy-type curls, and pinned her ponytail on the top, almost like a bun. Then I could barely look at her, because she didn’t look quite the same as when I do the ponytail and bright colored barettes…..Yup. My baby’s growing up…

My daughter hangs up under me in the evenings, so much so that I’ve taken advantage of those little hands while cooking and doing laundry when I’m rushed. BUT, this afternoon, I am home from work. I will be home when she gets here. We will go to Micky D’s, get ice cream cones, or Sonic for the cream slush and chill out and watch Disney Channel “till the cows come home”! (NOTE: the cows is a metaphor for Daddy, who will want someone to listen to his day)

is eerily following my footsteps…I can see her eyeing me while I cook, clean, drive…she’s only 8 years old. I remember at that age, I used to tell my mother that I wanted to be just like her when I grew up, and her response was always that she wanted me to be better than her. At that time, I didn’t think that was possible. But now, having been put in the role of the mother being admired by the daughter, I, too, want her to be better than me when she grows up. I feel compelled to set a better example for her, to show her, as well as tell her, how a young lady sits, acts, speaks, and lives, while affirming her belief that she can do and become anything she wants, so long as she has the drive, determination, and will to make it happen. It’s hard being under a microscope, and knowing full well that all of my actions, as well as my words are being recorded in her brain and interpreted as the way that things are to be done.

I LOVE THIS GOAL!!! For me, it maintains in the forefront, what is important, when I pick up the kids from school, when doing homework, when leaving home in the morning. My mother told me that my aunt used to tell her that when she would see us off to school in the morning, she should treat each time she saw us as if it could be the last…..IMAGINE THAT!! As a mother, it makes me want to make the most of the time that I have with my children.

Oh, yeah, Daughter was bragging that she finished two (yes, TWO) quizzes in less than 5 minutes and got A’s (she’s in the 3rd grade…) I shouldn’t be surprised, last year she got all A’s each quarter….she gets it from her mama!!!

Today was the first day of school. This morning I had breakfast with the kids, and drove them to school, talking to them and reminding them how important they are to me.

Okay, here goes…I have a daughter in 3rd grade, a son in 6th grade, and now a step-son in 9th grade, meaning, elementary, middle, and high school… I want to be more involved in all of their schooling, so…. I WILL join the PTA’s, I WILL, visit the schools more often, I WILL, volunteer to help with extracurricular activities, I WILL do more than just help with homework, I will make some up when there is none. I WILL plan more educational family time, such as museums instead of skating rinks…I WILL…. I WILL.

That is inherent, and sometimes the idea is taken for granted. I’ll allow that with one kid, it’s easier to “be the best mommy on earth” But….add another kid, and yet another stephild, and the idea of “being a better mother” becomes something else, altogether. I am making this a goal simply because I want a constant reminder to myself to ensure that I am, in fact, giving it the best I’ve got!