complete my research project by November this year

I can finally mark this “Done”.

I’ve submitted my four sets of print out for hard cover binding. Filled in the form declaring my original work, etc. The results have been keyed-in, after the hullabaloo that was last week. Turns out it was due to the wrong code selected, my mistake but it wasn’t just my being careless. The subject description was exactly the same when I did it online, didn’t strike me that the code looked somewhat alien.

So yeah, I’ve done this. I’ve finished my MBA and I shall be graduating properly this August. Even got an A for the paper, which was a big surprise, a good one nonetheless.

Guess this should make me feel.. happy. Maybe it hasn’t sunk in yet. I am grateful to see this chapter finally concluding on a positive note. But something feels.. off. I don’t know, I’ll figure it out later.

Despite my subdued emotions, this goal is well worth it. I’ve learnt so much and the interaction I’ve gotten in class, with my peers and lecturers, have enriched me ten times over. While I don’t know if this will ever become a big deal for me career-wise, I know I’m better off for it.

I could cry..

I just called the campus office and they just told me that I had to register for the new semester, even though my project is already completed. Apparently, if I don’t register, they won’t be able to key-in my marks for the project paper. And I thought, WTH? No one told me this. I don’t remember any bureaucratic crap that mentioned this, unless it was written in bleedin’ fine print at 4pt size.

Everything feels like such a bleedin’ waste. If I knew this, I would have extended the freakin semester and not break my freakin back trying to finish it in freakin November. And oh, I forgot to mention, re-registering at this point would mean I have to pay a penalty for being “late”, plus registering another 6 credit hours, which should set me back by oh.. a few thousand bucks!

God.. I am so upset I could freakin maim someone.

.. why is this goal still here.. that’s coz I’m on my fourth editing and I pray to God that it’s my last! My supervisor’s picking on things like alignment, labels and appendices.. which I know are all good and important things. So must get cracking and do what needs to be done, instead of posting more entries here.. :P

.. this goal is nearing its completion. There was a point that I seriously doubted myself, and I was quite ready to defer this to another semester. But thanks to help from friends, encouragement from my supervisor and also cheers from you good folks, I believe I have about 5% more to go on this. I am filled with relief and gratitude. It has been a long time since I felt this way.

..about 3 hours ago, that my thesis submission has been okayed for the final presentation. Tomorrow, 9:30 AM.. and I’m currently battling anxiety attacks every 5 minutes just thinking about this. That and frantically preparing my powerpoint deck. Gosh.. just by chance, I checked my other email account and saw the note from the Uni. To think I could’ve missed this entirely. You’d think these people would’ve called and tell you.. several days earlier, but no.. So now I’m seriously sweating and praying hard I don’t trip over myself and actually present something coherent and MBA-worthy tomorrow. Wish me luck folks, I’m gonna need tonnes of it!

I parked my bum in front of the PC all day. I sacrificed invites for free food and skipped my fave TV shows too. I got significant help from a friend who gave me ideas on how to proceed when I got stuck. She practically prepped me for the oral presentation, giving tips on what the examiners typically pick on.

A few loose ends still, but structure-wise it’s complete. Content-wise, probably 5% to go. I even found a few literatures which resonated well with my research methodology.

By hook or by crook, I’m submitting my thesis this Monday. I still have doubts on whether it’s ready for the oral review, but if I don’t do this, I will never know. Plus I think I still have a fair shot at this, despite 100 reasons why it could so much better.

with comments from the reviewing lecturer (I’m not sure who it was, couldn’t make out the signature). No major issues, except for the fact that my analysis and conclusion are still pending. And apparently I’m short by about 4000 words – something I hope the remaining portion will address.

Actually, I came very close to giving up on this. But when I was told that I had to re-sit the entire 6 credit hours (equivalent to major moolah), it made me think hard and I arrived at the conclusion that I’ve put in too much effort to give up now. Plus an earful of nagging from a friend (my ex course mate who’s now a lecturer at my university) and much reassurance from her that she’ll help me with the statistical analysis.

So, I’m still on this goal. Next submission is this coming Monday the 20th. Plus I have an exam paper this coming Thursday. Trying very, very hard not to freak out. Trying very hard to fend off exhaustion despite the sleep deprivation. Time for me to rise to the occasion, yet again.

But the hard work is not yet over. As I was reviewing it with a friend, I realized my model lacked clarity. In my haste to replicate DeLone and McLean’s model, I lost sight of my actual objectives. I blame this on my simplistic thinking that I could replicate one of the studies for my research, use the same tools, the same methodology. But my instrument seems flawed and I am faced with the possibility of having to rework the entire model. I just hope I can maintain my data set, else going back to the drawing board would be almost impossible and the November deadline will no longer apply.

I do not relish the prospect of burning the candle on both ends, so I guess something’s gotta give.

I had a crash course in SPSS and stats analysis, thanks to some invaluable help from T. Indeed, angels appear when you least expect them to :) This might be possible after all, though I am ready to lose sleep over this. Thank God tomorrow is Friday.

I’m stuck on data analysis. Not sure what I’m doing wrong, but I can’t generate the stats I need. Not exactly giving up, but I’m soooo tired. I emailed the first 4 chapters to my supervisor, including a thinly-veiled desperate plea for help. I hope she will lend me a hand, or at least support my submission despite my current shortcomings. I’m frustrated, but I know it’s not the end of the world. Think I’ve had enough for one day, been sitting in front of my notebook since 10AM this morning. And it’s almost 12 hours already. Tired, sleepy and cranky. Might as well take a break now.

p/s: Wish me luck, though my chances are bleak, I really, really wanna finish this semester.