work because I like to, not because I have to

Not in the material or monetary sense. But finally, to do something that matters, something I truly believe in. My new job has challenges that gives me nightmares sometimes, but it can be very rewarding too. I’m so thankful I was given the opportunity to take on this new role.

A week ago, my CEO called me up for a chat. Past all the casual banter, he asked me if I was ready to move. Where to? HR apparently. I was stunned for 2 seconds, but regained my composure right after and mainly said yes, I’ll take the job.

Why..? Mainly coz..

1. It’s a change of subject matter, I keep saying I want to do something other than IT ops/support, and I guess HR was it.

2. I know that for #1 to happen, doing it in another organization poses several difficulties. I will have to start from square one, pay-wise, plus the credibility issue of establishing oneself in a new place, in a new role. Doing it here in my current organization means I have the benefit of knowing who’s who and what’s what.

3. It’s a ticket to senior management. I swear I have no grand ambitions to become CEO, but I know I’m not about to retire as IS manager.

4. It’s a vertical move, the plan is to make me GM in at least 2 years time. In my current role, that will not materialize unless something drastic happened.

5. We’re in the middle of a restructuring and the void left by the departing HR boss required urgent replacement. I was offered to step up to the plate, and I took it.

A lot is still uncertain. My successor has not been decided yet. There’s talks about outsourcing IS to our subsidiary company, but pending finer details. Despite all this uncertainty, I reassured my people that I am still there for them regardless. I may not have the same bandwidth to manage the team, but I’ll be there for them when it matters.

My new team.. I was officially introduced to the HR team yesterday. They seem genuinely pleased to have me on board. Note that these are my peers and I’ve known them for years, but I’m just glad I never made any enemies (or consciously pissed off anyone) since now I’m gonna need every bit of support I can get.

So yeah, the crazy roller-coaster ride of my life takes another unchartered course. I know it’ll be hectic, tiring and exciting, as I learn as much as I can about HR. But I intend to give it my best, much like everything else I’ve attempted in the past.

On Saturday, which is unusual. But we’re redoing the cabling work in the Data Center this morning and I need to supervise those guys. Supervise as in make sure they do it right, no one goes MIA in the middle of it and that there’s food for snacks and stuff. So, not exactly supervise, more like give em guidance and moral support.. coz I ain’t doing any heavy lifting, unless they piss me off and I have to work out some aggression.

Seriously, I love this team. And I’m unashamed to use the word love. They’re a bunch of good natured folks, sensible within reason and hardworking given the right motivation. They’ve been with me through hell and high water and I’m not one of those bosses who’s content to give orders through the phone anyway. Yeah, I know.. I meddle and am unafraid of getting down and dirty. And yes, I’m a control freak so I’m not about to let anyone screw up and make us lose precious time, especially not when we have such a short window for downtime.

With that said, I hope everything goes well today (crossing fingers!).. at least a significant degree better than yesterday!

Tomorrow I’ll be presenting what has taken us 6 months to produce, our very own Business Intelligence portal. While it is not meant to be a panacea, I understand how wide-ranging its effects can be. It’ll helps us measure our performance, buck up where we need to, pull out the proverbial whip to get us back into shape and eventually (and hopefully) take us where need to go.

I have lived and breathed this project for 6 whole months. Feels like we’re about to bring something to life. Naturally, I worry as to how it will be received by my boss (and all the other bosses for that matter). I hope I’ve met their requirements. But I also know that my self-worth is not tied to this outcome. I can feel all these feelings.. concern, anxious and even excitement.. but I am not these feelings. I am merely an enabler, and I feel I’ve done my best.

With that said, I want to hear them talk about it, pull it apart and put it back together again, turn over every cube and dice up every cell. I want to understand what they think of it and how they feel. I will not judge their opinion of it and therefore, I will not let myself be judged. I will seek to understand before I ask to be understood.

I have a few loose ends to tie up. But they should be minor finishing touches. Whatever that’s “off” will have to wait until after this review. This application is not something you can just tweak on the fly and honestly, my team needs to stop so that they can take a breather and wait for what’s next.. after we finish tomorrow’s review.

As we reach this stage, I know this is what I like to do. I truly believe in this. I know it’s not the silver bullet that will jack up our share price or guarantee next year’s bonus. But I know this will push out a single version of the truth. Something that will put us all on the same page. Something that will help us pull together so that we may achieve synergy. I didn’t realize how such a belief can be so powerful until I realize it is what separates the “have-tos” in order to become the “Like-tos”.

the new four-letter word!

I wanna run and bail, hide under the covers not caring if the sun or moon is up, or just drive on an endless road til I figure out where I want to go, or where I should be. I want to morph into nothingness and just fade into the background, and leave the world with no burden in my head or heart.

But there is no such thing in my world. No rest for the weary, no brief reprieve to give me relief.

between “sucker for pain” and “change activist”. Some days they mean the same bloody thing, the only difference is how politically correct you wanna be today?

Overwhelmed.. overworked.. overstressed.. I’m looking at the glass half-empty today. I might as well pack and go home right now! but not before I give away some cheers.. :P

I just finished my presentation with my boss, who happens to be the Big Kahuna around here. It went well, better than expected. He was generous with his comments, and was able to give clear and actionable feedback on how I could improve my key initiatives and operations. He may not spell out everything from A-Z, but he is definitely not one to give armchair commentary.

And yes, I have a lot of respect for him. And I believe it is mutual too. He knows I am more than willing, ready and able to carry out my duties.

That also explains why I have been able to stick around for almost 10 years here. Some folks may think I’ve gotten too comfortable, but if they knew what I had to do to earn my keep around here…

So yeah, I love what I do and yes, I am good at it. Of course I have to earn a living, but being able to do so in a supportive and conducive environment, surrounded by some very talented and eager individuals.. that is a bonus. One more thing to add on to my ever-expanding gratitude list ;)