YG is doing 41 things including…

Judge less

31 cheers

YG has written 4 entries about this goal

This is very hard 6 months ago

I’m meant to be working on this goal today. On my way to work, I thought about it and figured that an easy way to start on this goal again, is to try not to gossip, because gossiping really is judging people. I can’t think how one could gossip without passing judgement?

Within ten minutes of me arriving at work, someone asked me ‘what did X say to you about Y yesterday?’ and before I knew it, I’d told them the whole story…. though it was true, though X was very rude, it was still gossiping. I could have just said, ‘oh that, it was nothing…’ Luckily, I remembered my decision shortly after opening my mouth and when the conversation moved onto X’s other faults, I didn’t take part.

Later on, a colleague made some bitchy remarks about another colleague, as it was only me and her in the office, it would have been easier for me to say ‘yes, I know, you’re right, she really is deluded…’ but, maybe to make up for my earlier failure, I didn’t say a word, just a quiet ‘hmm’. There was a slightly uncomfortable silence for a minute, but i felt good afterwards, definitely better than I did after dishing the dirt on X earlier.

I feel that since I’ve become more confident, it is easier for me to not judge people. Since I’ve realised that I am quite blessed and have a lot in life, I have stopped caring about what other people have, and hence also stopped judgeing.
Now I work with people who are so jealous of everything and all they see is people with more money than them, people with bigger houses, nicer cars etc. None of them have much money, but all they care about is money, they’re especially obsessed with other people’s money. The thing is that they also hate people with more money than them, which is kind of weird, because they clearly also want to be one of those people with lots of money… they think people who drive certain expensive cars are all arseholes, yet they want to drive that same car… hmmm…
I’m probably getting a bit side tracked here, but the point is, that listening to people I work with has made me realise that people gossip and judge others because they a jealous. And that is very sad, pathetic even.
Another reason for gossiping is to make yourself look/feel better, that’s sad too. I don’t want to be like that. I don’t think I gossip out of jealousy anymore, or if I ever do it, I’m quite quick to notice it and I am not pleased with myself, because I really do find it pathetic.
I’ve now completely forgotten why I started writing this and where I was meant to go with it… d’oh! I’m losing my mind.
The point is, I don’t want to judge people because it is not very mature, I’m doing less and less of it as I’ve become more confident, as I’ve seen more of the world and realised how fortunate I am, but I still gossip and judge too much, so I need to work on this goal more.



This week 1 year ago

I tried to replace negative thoughts with positives and I’m pleased to say that I did pretty well. Everytime I thought about something bad about someone, I stopped myself and took time out to think about three positive things about that person. It wasn’t always easy, but I did my best. At least it made me aware of my negative/judgemental thoughts.
One thing I didn’t do, which I should have done, is to replace negative thoughts about myself with positives! That is really what I need right now to fight this depression and also to boost my confidence. I have a feeling that I’m so used to having negative thoughts about myself and judging everything I do, that I don’t even notice it. So next week’s challenge is to replace negative thoughts about others, as well as myself, with three positives.



This week's challenge 1 year ago

For every negative thought I have to come up with three positives about the same person (or thing).



This goal is very important to me 1 year ago

I believe that how you see others is how they see you; how you treat others is how you get treated. If you judge people all the time, you will be judged and life gets difficult; if you do the opposite, don’t judge and treat others with some compassion and respect, they will treat you the same way. I’ve made tiny progress in this area recently and I have noticed the change, things get easier, people are nicer, my heart is lighter and I’m in a better mood because I’m not thinking about negative things all the time. However, I have a loooong way to go, I still judge people and things/events very easily and all the time. The good thing is that now I’m aware of it more and I can stop myself doing it.
I’d like to be able to go for a day without judging anything, not one thing, even the weather or the rubbish on the street, or myself(!) – this is a challenge set in the book ‘the seven spiritual laws of success’ (or something like that?). It’s obviously impossible to do right now, but I can start practicing, trying to see how long I can go without allowing one judgemental thought enter my head. Maybe by the end of 2007 I could go on for a whole day…



YG has gotten 31 cheers on this goal.

 

I want to:

The world wants to...