Getting over your first love...
2 years ago
I don’t believe one ever really gets over love, real love so real you could see it. Tangible love. So few know…
After all, what is love to begin with? If you know, you know. Plain and simple. Not really. If it's real...really real, can you ever stop loving them? No. No way. Not a chance. But can you move past that? I don't know. I thought so. I thought that I knew the difference between loving someone and being in love with them. As simple as I love my family, my friends, my life. But I'm not in love with them. I was in love with him. I still to this day, 3 years after I left that rut, 5 and a half year of a beautiful rut, will admit...once every year or so when we do actually speak to one another...that I have always loved him and always will. Right after the arrogant "You still love me, don't you?" comment. Arrogant men. A whole different essay and different undeniable indulgence. But can you really deny love? If you ever truly felt it at all...the complete, unrelented, unsatiable giving that you try to stop. Try to hold back. Try to be stubborn and strong and, well, you. Just you. But after so long, after 5 and a half years, who are you? Where do the boundaries end? What have I embraced as my own and what have I so eagerly shared?Will I ever know? No. Will I ever regret? No. I will neither regret us, the unified whole, nor me for finding who I am only as half. Or was I whole to begin with?
Time.
