I am so serious. This is over, I can’t take it. I will never binge again. This is getting ridiculous…....I refuse to live a life in which I am gonna hate myself for this. I do not binge, this cannot and will not happen.

I dont care….=(

I am bulimic, because I binge. I have to stop overeating, but this is so hard when I am just so use to always putting food in my mouth. My first official step is to stop saying I’m hungry when I’m not. Instead, i’ll say the truth which is I just want food. When I say I’m hungry, I’m truly just trying to get away from something. Then, I guess I am always trying to get away from something.I don’t enjoy my life and i guess I’m trying to get away from that. I am miserable, things in life are never the way I want them and this makes me not want to deal with anything that life brings.

It’s funny I have posted this picture in 4 of my entries, and I am just truly understanding what it is saying. When I eat, I feel nothing. Obviously I am trying to hide away from my feelings. The question is, “What feelings am I hiding?”. I am in pain most of the time. There is always something stressing me out or worrying me. But I can’t help how I feel. This is the way life is. If I didnt want to feel these things anymore, that would mean getting a new life, with new people.

1 EnEmY: SkOoL !

yes thats progress.

I heard that only part of the food you eat is released when you vomit.While the rest is already absorbed by your body. How much is part?

I think I better keep to those affirmations, I keep forgetting to do them. But they seem to be the only things that works. Besides my dedication to Cheerleading that has kept me working hard (literally).

I am binging while on the computer.And No right now I do not feel the urge to stop, I wish I could stop,but right now I don’t have the willpower to stop myself.I wonder what it would take for me to finally learn to have self-control in these situations.I am feeling….....I dont know…....I’m eating now, I have no feelings toward anything else but my food! I’m supposed to be doing HW now,but it’s late and I always procastinate(a habit I’m trying to stop,but its harder than it sounds when you’ve done it for years) !.......30 min from now,this will all be out of my system(literally)

I did it again but a about a month ago I promised myself that I wouldn’t throw up anymore…...... so latley when I binge even though I feel so damn guilty I just tell myself to not to do it (though there have been a few time when I have not followed that promise). Last night I did, and I didn’t feel guilty about it. I realised right after binging that I had did it right after having an argument with my mother.