have the courage to start over

My story is a long one… just like all of yours..
Every details matter to me.. every second.. every thought in my mind brings more pain to my heart..
I need to start over.. my life is in a big mess.
I have a great job, family, looks, everything… but I am emotionally devastated.. I dont feel that I am good enough for him ( my ex ) ..
We stayed together for 5 years and it took too much energy of me.. we broke up about 1 year and a half but I am still not over him..
I still feel that he is the perfect guy… it’s so devastating..
I need to start over