learn from my mistakes

It was like I ran a marathon, and right when the finish line came into view I just stopped moving forward and sat down to rest. I made it to the end, but it could have been done with so much more oomph. This mistake almost cost me something I spent two years working for, it inconvenienced a number of people, and it disappointed my mentor. Things worked out and my mentor and I parted on a positive note, but more than a year later I still think about my screw-up during that last semester and cringe.

First, it was a simple lesson in organization. I was reminded to keep track of deadlines from the moment I find out about them, as there is no guarantee that I will simply remember the upcoming dates later on.

Secondly, I learned that part of growing up is becoming proactive instead of sitting back with the assumption that those in charge will tell you what to do. There comes a point when people stop holding your hand and expect you to take on the responsibility of being your own person. You can coast by, fulfilling only the minimum requirements, but this is no way to impress anyone, including yourself. Look for opportunities to go above and beyond. And don’t be afraid to ask questions if you feel like things are headed off course, because it is unlikely someone will step in before you’ve already made a bit of a mess.

Finally, I learned to listen to my gut! The gut is very wise. Listening to it can keep you out of trouble. And even if it is a little confused, checking in to see why it is sending you signals can’t hurt.

This mistake was supposed to be the cherry on top of a nice college career. Instead, I left the cherry sitting out too long and it became rotten. Now that I have spent some time reflecting on the experience, it is time to throw that cherry in the garbage, remember the lessons I learned, and forget about the ruined sundae.

During this year-long mistake, I learned how to put aside bad feelings I have for a person in order to work amiably with them. In this life, we don’t necessarily get to pick our coworkers, so I think this is an important skill to have. I was also able to get over my tendency to hold a grudge. I feel much more powerful now, having developed the ability to say “hey – you treated me bad in the past, but I’m over it. I’m not going to waste any more time being angry.”

Looking back, I see two specific areas that I need to focus on to improve my leadership skills. Like most medical students, I am a bit of a control freak. I need to learn how to delegate. One person cannot do it all. You might manage for awhile, but there will come a time when you have to compromise in some area of your life, likely leaving you feeling as though you failed. Why risk all that when you could simply distribute the tasks to the people working with you?

My second lesson learned is closely related to the first. I need to be more demanding. Not in a rude way, but in a polite “you took on the responsibilities so I expect you to carry your weight” kind of way. I need to learn how to expect a certain level of involvement from people who signed up for a leadership role, even those who are obviously just doing it to fill in a line on their resume. And more importantly, if they are slacking off, I need to speak up and confront the issue.

I want to make a list of the mistakes from my past that continue to haunt me, describing what I learned from each situation. I know that I have gained valuable lessons from less-than-desirable moments in my life, but I believe putting them down on paper will help me close that chapter and move forward.