Opianne is doing 27 things including…

find out who i am

5 cheers

 

Opianne has written 2 entries about this goal

Untitled 17 months ago

I feel so frustrated.

My parents are visiting me and I’m very happy to see them. Since I kinda have a new apt and that they rented a car (I don’t have any), we bought some furniture I wanted to. Then they kept suggesting decoration stuff though I made clear I wanted to think about it, you know, I don’t want to do my apt in one day and that’s it, end of the story. I want to think about it, wait for picking up the right items in stores and appropriate my apartment again after all the new furniture we brought.

My mum was quite insisting on curtains and bed sheets she showed me once and I kept telling her I didn’t want them, this was not the style I was thinking or whatever.

Today I came back from work, and here they are, the curtains and bed sheets I didn’t want and she’ll be back in the apt soon with a broad smile. How can she be expecting me to be happy with that when she is forcing like this, after I told her I didn’t want them.
I hate lying and faking, I’m a very sincere person.

I am going through a hard period and I feel like she’s violating the small private garden I’m trying to keep to myself. Building a home by myself mean something to me. This has to come from me.

And they are leaving in a few days and I don’t want them to feel bad. Why the hell did they buy that.



the big who-I-am quest theory 19 months ago

I think I will have reached this goal when I find someone with whom I’m feeling plentiful and satisfied.
It’s a little bit weird but I’m starting to think that who I am depends on someone else somewhere I will hopefully meet one day!.. And when it happens, I will not need an answer anymore to the who I am question, I will not ask me this question anymore.

I found this quote on internet “I love you not because of who you are, but because of who i am when I’m with you. “

Well the second part of the quote is totally true isn’t it?

Hey, this may be a lovely theory here but this is not so simple!! It gets complicated when you are attracted to guys who don’t love you and when you can fall in love only with people who love you in return though .. Damn.

For now, I’m just a puzzle with so many contradictions. How on earth can I want one thing and it’s contrary, and this for everything.



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