draw more

I talked to my mom and agreed it’s cuz I don’t have the space….I have no area and dragging it all out makes a mess and discourages me from drawing more.
It’s an excuse, but I feel it is a valid one. I really want my own space to set up a studio area. I had this when I was younger and then I spent all my time there.

on Fashion illustration. It’s very simply written, just drawings and short descriptions on techniques, but it’s the best drawing book I’ve had yet.
I spent a good 2 hours on Sunday just practicing drawing profiles, something that has been a weak point for me. I already feel like I improved a bit. I’m also getting better with using oil pastels, which I like working with.

A thought struck me today as I was driving somewhere….
I don’t enjoy drawing like I used to. It feels forced. I used to do it effortlessly….when did it become a chore?
I think I’ve put pressure on myself and it’s killed my creativity. I don’t know how to get back to that place where I could just get absorbed in drawing and making things and be satisfied with that.
It used to define me as a person…I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore. What am I good at? What makes me me? I thought I knew….I was the girl who could draw, who was creative and made things with no reason needed….now I’m just this lump of sadness and frustration….

but I feel frustrated with it. I’ve seen too many amazing portfolios online from talented illustrators and designers & I feel a combination of inspired & discouraged.
There’s a part of me that feels like I could reach that level, but there is also a part of me that feels stuck at a certain point & I wonder if/when I will ever improve enough to get where I’d like to be.

and I did some sketching the other night. It was so therapeutic….I wish I had the time & energy to do it more. I’m not going to let myself go so long again though….

in Illustrator, not sure if that counts. It was artistic though, not like a logo or anything boring for work.