Have a totally different life by this time next year

- new job which I mostly like & which pays fairly
- learning a new language successfully
- focusing on spiritual & altruistic pursuits
- making new friends

Bad stuff
- still single, still miserable about it
- still smarting a bit after a difficult break-up
- indulging in hardcore crushing that is likely unrequited
- very, very tired from the positive list….but I’m resisting caving to the fantasy life at the expense of my real one
- staying with relatives temporarily while half my stuff is boxed up in storage; not sure where I’ll end up…
- cat is dying :/
- still stuck in this god-forsaken town…

The bad list is longer, but I think the good list is more SIGNIFICANT.

I am in relationship still….with someone else than I was last year, but it’s 8+ months in now. I’m getting restless again; not to break up & be single, but to move forward in the relationship. I hate feeling stagnant. I admit I feel that after 1-2 years of dating, you should marry or break up (if marriage is your goals).

I am on the verge of some potentially steady work, in the teaching field, so that may be an improvement this year. We shall see…the business venture I started last year failed (make that about 3 different business ventures I’ve tried that have failed; I think after 7 fails you’re supposed to finally succeed? :P). I am still looking for work elsewhere, specifically, design work.

I am still stuck with my parents in the countryside. If the job & relationship works out, I really hope that changes in the next year also.

It feels like when things are not good, they change soooo slowly, and yet, when things are good, it doesn’t last too long….

In some ways, not all of them good.
I’m in a relationship, so that’s (sort of) a plus, depending on how you look at it.
I am starting a new business venture, and I’m trying to stay positive that I will be able to make some money (I don’t expect a lot).
I am also stuck living with my parents still, who moved us out to the country (YUCK), and I can’t wait til this lease is up or I can move on my own again. I seriously despise this place…

It is so depressing to say…
I have lost everything I had built since college.

I gave up my job & now have to give up my business.
I’ve drained my savings to support this business.
I’ve lost my apartment because I cannot afford it now.
I’ve lost my independence, as I will return to my parents and be dependent upon them until I can get a new job.
I’ve lost or grown away from several friendships as my focus on my business took so much of my time.
I’ve lost any sense of self worth, pride, confidence etc.
I’ve lost whatever shred of faith/trust I had in my fellow human.

My life is different from last year in that last year was full of hope & promise, and this year is just a series of dashed dreams…

Last year I moved out on my own, this year I quit my soul-sucking job and started my own design biz, and I’m hoping that before the year is over I may have some luck in the romance department also. If that works out, I can truly say my life has done a 180.

My life is different….but not totally. I live somewhere else, but the essence of my daily life is the same. I cannot honestly mark this done, and that is a disappointment…..

I moved…not far away, but just far enough. I’m on my own and have a few ideas on how to make new friends here.
Not a totally different life, but it’s small steps…

and despite a lot of effort on my part – NOTHING has really changed. I’ve even come close….so close…only to be disappointed yet again.

that something significant would happen in my life, but nothing did.
I made effort too. I stuck my neck out on job interviews, dates, calling strangers, looking for opportunities to leave this town, and so much more.
Nothing has changed. Nothing at all. It is so depressing. I wonder how long it can go on like this….it’s not like I’m not trying.
If nothing changes next year, at least one major change, I don’t know what I’ll do…