I decided to change this goal from “Let God lead me to my loyal faithful provider protector husband” to “Let God be my loyal faithful provider protector husband”.
Honestly, there is nobody else that can make a better husband than God. He is perfectly noble, loving at heart. He is unfailingly dependable. He does not grow old, does not die, does not have wandering eyes for women. He’s a perfect gentleman.
Why marry an earthly man if God can be my husband?
I feel like giving up on this goal. I am almost forty. It seems that I will never meet the right guy. Maybe it’s time to park this goal and focus on something that I can change.
God: Every man needs a woman that’s worth dying for. I created men. I made their souls. I made their hearts to always yearn for a true lady that’s worth defending, worth fighting for, worth dying for.
God: A single life is a life that’s the best for a woman. When a woman enters marriage, she’s essentially signing up to be a life long volunteer. There is nothing her husband and children can ever give in return that will be worthy of the time and effort a wife and mom sacrifices for her family.
If I choose you for marriage, it will not be for your benefit, it’s because I want to use you for my purpose. The marriage itself will not bring you much rewards, but it will bring your relationship with me to another level.
I still haven’t found my other half, but somehow something hilarious is going on. Everyone and his brother is trying to date me!
I wonder what in the world is going on. How come so few guys were interested ten years ago when I was younger, thinner, prettier? Now I am not wearing anything different, but heavier, with more wrinkles. I am not flirting. But somehow something must’ve happened.
me: I cannot find a good husband because he doesn’t seem to exist in this world. I need someone who is just like you, with pure heart, noble character, who is truly a provider protector for life, who cherishes me, loves me with your love, so much that he’s willing to die for me.
God: Now you are talking like my daughter.
me: I want a husband that is so much just like you because I am your daughter and you are my father.
God: You do have someone, and you know who he is already.
When I wake up in the early morning hours, I sense the deep longing for my husband. The soul doesn’t want just any guy. She wants her true other half – the one that God has prepared her for, the one that only God can lead her to.
Our deepest desires are placed in our hearts by God. When he gives me a strong yearning, it is often because that’s what he knows I need.
I have a strong intuition about who it is that is my true other half, but I don’t know what next step I should take. I have to wait for God to act.
Meanwhile, I will keep meeting new people and keep learning.
This is a hard goal to work on. It probably has the biggest practical impact on my life among all the goals I ever listed on 43T. Once I start on this, I realize how rare it is to find a good husband. It’s funny. That’s the way most men should be, but the reality isn’t so.
It’s like shopping for that classic black dress. It should be the most common thing, yet it’s so hard to find, and when there is one available, it’s never on sale and usually cost a bundle. On the other hand, the weird trendy styles are on sale at a big discount, but wearing them makes me either look like a prostitute or a crazy woman.
If I do end up finding a good man, it has to be a huge miracle from
Something dawned on me. God wants me to marry not only for my sake, but also for my husband. It’s not just that I need a provider protector husband. My husband also needs me, to protect his heart, soul, and relationships. I may be small and fragile, but when it comes to fighting spiritual wars, I am a mighty warrior.