fully enjoy God's love

I started listen to the pastor leading bible studies over the internet. He was talking about the power of prayers.

I spent the morning in prayer for year 2008.
I want to see how this year will turn out.

One of my new year’s resolution is to make an effort to remember that I am a child of God every day. I’m curious to see how my 2008 will end as a result of this.

I will also tithe 10% of my income to the church on a weekly basis. This is an experiment. I would like to see where my finances will stand at the end of 2008.

Honestly, I think my happiness level is directly correlated with how much time I spend on contemplating on the fact that I am a child of God. It sounds kind of silly, but that’s what I have found out during the last nine years of my life.

Having a dream job doesn’t keep me happy for long. Tasting a piece of chocolate keeps me happy for 5 minutes. Dating a good boyfriend brings both happiness and troubles.

Somehow enjoying God’s love is like dating a great boyfriend that brings the least amount of trouble and I never need to worry about him leaving me.

My life here on earth is a gift from my heavenly dad. It’s never meant to be lived with worries, competitions, anxieties, fears. It’s meant to be lived with joy, thanksgiving, charity, forgiveness, and love.

My dear daughter,

You already have eternal life, my eternal love, and eternal peace. Nobody and nothing can ever take these things from you.

You will have health, peace, contentment, longevity in this life. You live in a world full of troubles and conflicts, but I will shield you from all of them.

You will slowly and surely improve in singing.

Two families will be blessed through you. Your currently biological family and later on your husband and children. They will also bless many others in their lives.

These things I promise to you. Hold on to them in your heart. Celebrate every day of your life. I love you.

- Daddy

Hehehe… I think the secret to fully enjoy God’s love is to have a child’s heart. After all, God wants to relate to me as a daddy to his pumpkin, not as equals.

If I demand that God respects me by doing things my way, the relationship will become cold and businesslike, and I don’t really have anything to offer to God in business. Love cannot be bought or sold either.

The best way to enjoy God’s love is to be dependent on him, to remain forever a baby daughter in need of his love and protection.

I am going to conduct a little experiment. I am going to hand over all my worries to God, and then pray and follow his instructions. I am going to do this for the next 30 days.

Worries to leave with God:

health
fully restful sleep at night
financial security
retirement and being cared for in old age
other half
physical safe at work and during commute

God, you gave me my life. You called me into a relationship with you. Today I am handing over to you all these problems that are beyond my power to control. I am a needy vulnerable child. I cannot fix these worries by my own might. God, I am handing all of them over to you, and I wait prayerfully for your work.

God’s best blessings are not wealth, not power, not accomplishments. God’s best blessings are wisdom, creativity, true friendship, and his forever love. I used to understand this fully as a child, then forgot about it as a young adult. Now I am relearning this all over again.

I am just not happy today. I hate my daily two hour commute on the train and my confined existence in a cubicle. This is not how my life is supposed to be.

Then I turned to God in prayer and saw that this is only temporary. One day I will moved on from all of these. I will complete my graduate degree, a better career, a better life.

So, now the question is how? Maybe I’ll ask God.

Prayer: God, I think you want me to understand just how much you love me. You want me to enjoy your love to the fullest. I want to, but I don’t know how. Would you show me how?