About being honest is when you hurt someone else. I broke up with my boyfriend last night and it is devastating to have to break someone else’s heart…I think I prefer being broken up with…at least your response is clear, the responsibility for making a mistake, if it is a mistake, will lie with the person breaking up with you…I far prefer being the martyr…knowing that in time I will get over it and that they will realise the mistake they made and then it will be too late…
Its not as much fun on the other side though…you feel the same pain, the same loss, but in addition you feel guilt and remorse and more often than not doubt about whether you really did the right thing… I promised myself that I would avoid cliches as far as possible, no “its not you, its me” or “can we still be friends”. And I did. I didnt deserve to feel fine after the conversation, you are not entitled to make yourself feel better at the expense of the person you are hurting. It should be cut, over, final. We left it with “we’ll speak when we are ready” which is already more than you have a right to ask…
Am I happy? No. Did I do the right thing? I dont know.
