Managing my ADHD. My lack of patience is directly linked to the ADHD so I’m going to sign this one off and use the other goal instead.
OtterGirl537 has written 7 entries about this goal
So things mostly blew over after the way the were on Friday. I’m much more relaxed and happy today. However, one of my senior supervisors on staff continues to vex me. I have standing orders with my staff for no more personnel moves until after our inspection at the end of the month. Period. This one continues to threaten the other female supervisor with dismissal and has gone around me to other members higher in the organization to get her way. BITCH.
So now the question is what do I do about it. I’m annoyed that I’m being defied. I’m mad that she’s treating her peers so shittily. I mainly just want it to stop as it’s incredibly counter-productive to what I want for my office in team building and success. But I’m basically stuck.
I have the next day and a half off before I have to do something. I don’t want to obsessive over but I do want to be done with it.
Part of my problem with my being impatient is that I overthink situations I should just leave alone. I’m doing that right now, over the nastiness at from Thursday and Friday. I’m good at puzzling stuff out and I’m obsessive so I try to solve things before the time for solutions arrives. This is me trying to set this aside for a night until I can get more facts from T tomorrow and talk to the boss on Monday morning.
The situation is such that it boils down to 2 outcomes: the boss sides with me or he sides with those people who are going behind my back and against my wishes. If he sides with me, no problem. If not, a whole section of my staff will most likely implode and I will no longer have the authority to run my office and staff as I need to. If that happens, I’ve been working on a plan to deal with it including an early exit from the company and asking one of the VPs to hire me on in his office for the remainder of my time here and/or filing a complaint. It’s all way too detailed at this point. At this point, I should just be thinking that there are many options and I only really need them if my boss decides against me. This is about me being impatient and I’m hoping writing it out will release me from it.
Today I had to let one of the VPs yell at my #2 because he hadn’t physically restrained on of our staff members from going into the boss’ office without permission. Then I was told same group is going to meddle with my staff based on a complaint I’m not privy to… I can’t remember being this angry in a long time but is a huge part of why I’m leaving in October. Today, I want that to be sooner except for the monkey wrench it will throw into my plans…
to not go crazy. I’ve only heard from S once since last weekend and it’s getting hard. I have to remember either he’s truly busy and misses me or that this is too hard for him and we’ll find out it’s not working sooner rather than later. I just have to breathe and not worry… Things always work out for the good of all concerned.
In reading this new book, I learned many interesting things (so mostly I just recommend reading the book) but this one was a zinger: Self control is an exhaustible resource. Yes, really really. We can only do it for so long before it gets too hard and we need a break. It’s helpful to know that it’s okay to get frustrated and impatient from time to time. To be able to step back and say that today was really demanding and this might work better tomorrow. It’s another neat tool in being better at life.
I was very patient over the last 20 hours or so. I thought I’d broken the replacement hard drive just before bed last night. The computer gave me the blue screen of death, and after the hard boot, it refused to acknowledge the external. Of course it upset me. I fooled with it for 10 or 15 minutes because I knew how quickly my frustration with some thing like this flows into anger and tears and sleepless nights.
However, I decided it was too late and I needed to sleep instead; just telling my frustration to sleep with me. Then I left it alone until I got home from work. A new shutdown of the computer didn’t help, but I decided to try to just turn off the external. The power button didn’t work so I just unplugged it for 10 or 20 seconds. When I plugged it back in, it connected to the computer right away.
I’m so happy. Not only did I not just lose it in anger and frustration, I was able to walk away for almost a whole day and then fix the problem. I really needed that success.
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