start a hope chest without losing hope

I want to have a family.
But I am afraid that I would fail at it.
I have no models, I am a motherless child.
I have no examples, my family is torn apart.

How could I force my dreams upon someone of my own? How could I force them to leave through a failure as I have done?

I could not subject anyone to that.

And this is my secret hope; that I might one day be ready, capable, that I won’t have this voice in my head saying that like mother like daughter- I am unfit for family.

Mine is looking,
rather empty.