Become the person I've always wanted to be

That’s sad. Work not only defines my life, it IS my life. And I am not happy at work… With the end of the year fast approaching I need to take time off of work and get back to being who I am. That includes working towards who I want to be. I think I will work on being happier and not getting so mad at things I can’t control, and listening more. That should be enough for now.

I’m still struggling with the work/life balance. I am taking next week off as “vacation”, which means do errands and try to catch up with things that have fallen off my radar. I do have a few things to do to become the person I’ve always wanted to be.

1. stop swearing. I don’t like it when people swear, especially at work. I have fallen into this habit as the stress of work has gotten to me.

2. Thank people when they have helped out. I guess this falls under building a team besides just being appreciative. I do thank people but I am not sure that I let them know how much help they have been.

3. listen more, talk less. This one is a challenge for me. I need to go into listening mode more often.

I need to get back to my list and work on my goals. I have let work dominate my life for the past few months and my goals have suffered. This is a part of me that I haven’t figured out how to deal with effectively. I let work define my life (as a friend told me recently) and I need to find balance in my life. I’m kind of an “all or nothing” person in some respects.

So, does anyone have suggestions on how to develop balance in one’s life?

Thanks.

It’s an interesting show and the guy really goes straight to the heart of the problem – people not taking responsibility for their actions. The whole process can be applied to so many areas of our lives, not just spending habits. It’s a bit brutal but people need to hear the message.

I admit that I like some of these “self help” programs. Perhaps it makes me feel more human that other people have similar issues in their life.

So, the person I want to be is someone who can face when she is not accepting responsibility and is willing to step up and take action.

Because this goal forces us to look at our behavior and question it. Self-reflection. I am starting to take a long hard look at how I live, and what I do, and ask if this is what I want from life. It’s fun but at times it’s a little unnerving. I can see that there are huge areas in my life that I have not built up and perhaps now I need to focus on these areas.

If I want to become the person I want to be, I need to act. So, this month (May) I am going to focus on a few things. First, I will focus on school and completing my comps. I will also focus on getting into shape, which means running and riding my bicycle. That should be enough for now.

(She says eating candy…) OK, part of who I want to be is someone who is in shape and exercises regularly. I am out of shape and need to lose 10 pounds. I weighed myself this morning and the scale read 158. (Oops.) I did ride my bicycle to work, so that is a step in the right direction. Eating candy after work isn’t helping but to get back into shape I need to exercise on a regular basis. I can walk or run, ride my bicycle, go to the gym or lift weights at home. I just need to make sure that I do these things on a regular basis.

I also need to eat better, so this weekend I will purge the cabinets of all the junk I have been storing up (candy, cookies, etc.). Most if this can go to work for other people to eat. Then I need to figure out a menu that I can live with. Warmer weather should make this easier to do. :)

A friend of mine has a good life. However, she never seems content with her life, and is always talking about how hard things are. Listening to her, I realized that we all probably set a lot of limitations on our lives. So, part of becoming who I want to be is to learn to recognize when I am setting limitations on my life. Then I want to overcome these self imposed limitations.

This also ties into my goal of being proactive rather than reactive. If I wait until a situation has happened, and then react, I am behind. I need to look ahead and see what’s coming so that I can act first.

What I want to concentrate on is listening to what I say, and noting when I creating limitations for myself. Things like “I’m too tired”, “There’s not enough time”, “I don’t have anyone to go with me”, etc. are the key statements that I need to pay atttention to. Then I can figure out what is really going on.

So it wasn’t my best marathon, and my time was slow since I walked, but at least I got out there and did something that I wanted to do. My feet survived the Grand Canyon with little injury, only to be beat up by walking 26.2 miles! I thought I had found the perfect shoes but it turns out they are great for hiking and terrible for walking. Go figure.

Anyway, I am now looking at a river trip through the Grand Canyon. There are openings in April and May of this year! I’m close to signing up for a week long trip. I just need to get school and work under control.

One step closer to being the person I want to be. :)

I miss going on river trips. I miss running on a regular basis. I miss going mountain biking and camping. So, I am going to focus on doing the things that I enjoy that I have allowed work to interfere with for the past few years.

First, if my feet allow it, I will walk the L.A. Marathon. I missed last year because I was overwhelmed with work and school. But if I don’t have major blisters from the Grand Canyon hike, then I am walking the marathon. I enjoy the event because of all the people.

Second, I am signing up for the White Rim mountain bike trip. It’s not until September but it fills up fast and I really enjoy the scenery, company and the riding. I haven’t done this ride in several years and I miss it.

Third, I am going to take one week long bicycle trip this year. I need to send out some email and find out what rides my friends are doing. I’d love to ride across Oklahoma since it’s one of the few states that I haven’t visited. I’ll have to see which ride works out for me. Perhaps, Florida Safari. It’s in April and I know lots of people in Florida.

Finally, I will go on an overnight kayak trip. It can be local, it can be in Utah, or I’d even go sea kayaking for a weekend.